Newfangled...something or other.

long time no blog

2006-06-24T18:29:00.000-04:00

well, i'm alive. it's true. if you're wondering what i've been up to, well, i've just been busy. life, work, interning (still, though this time at a pastry shop), sleeping, eating, trying to maintain something that atleast resembles a social life. though, i'm pooped. i'm not used to this standing on my feet for long periods of time stuff. i suppose that's normal considering i'm sitting at a desk all damn day. and really, if i had to choose, i'd pick standing. i cant stand sitting all day. my legs hate it and it wreaks havoc on my health. so, the interning is a nice change. ask me 6 mos from now when i'm a full time pastry chef if i still like it and my answer might be different. but for now? i dig it, yo.

well, not much to say really aside from checkin in. had some bothersome health news lately, but i suppose i'll be okay. diagnosed with an incurable nuisance essentially, that i'll have for the rest of my life unless they can figure out the cause. nothing that will kill me mind you, but still...shitty. particularly since, well, you FEEL health problems and isnt that what makes them a real bitch? unlike those silent things that can hang out in your body without any symptoms. i'd take that right now.

i think i might go nap. or read. though, if i read i'm gonna nap. bc i'm pooped, like i said. whenever i use that word i think of my parents. it's such an old school thing to say. being pooped. ha.

well kids, i hope y'all are doing well. things are fab here, so check in with me already.

muwah, and ttfn.
hh

just doooo eeeeeet

2006-06-04T21:04:00.000-04:00

what a life i've led so far...i couldnt possibly claim it has been boring.

the song for my current life phase?:

Marvin Gaye - Got To Give It Up

I used to go out to parties

And stand around

'Cause I was too nervous

To really get down

And my body yearned to be free

I got up on the floor and found

Somebody to choose me

No more standin' along side the wall

I have got myself together, baby

Now I'm havin' a ball

Long as you're groovin'

There's always a chance

Somebody watchin'

Might wanna make romance

With your body, ooo baby, you dance all night

Get down and prove it, feel all right

Keep on dancin'

Got to give it up

rock the vote! (i think that's trademarked maybe?)

2006-06-03T00:37:00.000-04:00

vote for dave and holly in their neighborhoodies!!! (second from left)

just dooooooooooooo eeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

VOTE HERE!!!!

Thanks!

ttfn.

Let the GOOD. TIMES. Rohhhhhh-holllllllll….

2006-05-15T12:09:00.000-04:00

So, my most fabulous niece Megan was visiting this weekend and leaves today (insert sad face here). We had mucho fun eating, shopping, taking in some sights, some culture, and educating ourselves (the “bodies” exhibit at south street seaport is amazing yet graphic). We had not much fun fighting traffic: being late to our play Saturday afternoon (Three Days of Rain with Julia Roberts – fantastic), and racing the clock to get our zipcar back yesterday after it taking WAY too long to get from point A in queens to point B in brooklyn. I really hate driving in this city. Anyway, we went to the queens museum so she could check out the panorama of the city (all 5 boroughs) that was made for the worlds fair in 1964-65. every visitor to the city should see this in my opinion. it’s pretty incredible, being to-scale and filling a huge room that allows you to walk the circumference of it. I’ll post some pics. Some of you may remember this being the same museum that I wanted to take her mother to when she visited recently but didn’t make it because we got lost and went to home depot instead. Well, meg’s an excellent navigator so we made it despite the twists and turns and totally shite street signs and it was fabulous.

There was some sort of mexican shin dig going on there on the grounds and therefore tons of ny’s finest to keep things under control. We walked through their already established “holding pen” where they had a handful of hooligans already restrained and went to see what was going on…really nothing. A whole bunch of trash, people waiting in long lines to spin some wheely thing to win some sort of lame prize (most people walked away with a baby blue umbrella courtesy of some latin radio station) and people yelling through megaphones to attract the visitors to god knows what really. It was very bizarre and we still don’t know what the attraction was or the point of the gathering aside from some people playing cricket (though they were Indian and in a separate part of the grounds, so clearly having their own thang). A “fair” with no food and nothing to buy is really not a fair. It really seemed like they were more like informational booths than anything and really…what fun is that? Not much.

So, the weekend was great and there were some emotional tough spots here and there but overall we had a fabulous time! She’s on her way to my office now to meet me and then we’re gonna head over to Tao for lunch then on to shopping at Tiffany’s and then who knows what else. Gotta love ma girl…everytime she visits T’s is a must on the list of things to do.

Other than her visit, I’m just really counting down the days until my vacay on Friday. Thomas and I are going to Pittsburgh to see the rest of his gargantuan family and then on to St. Martin! Yeehaw. A week of sun and food and frenchiness. Cant beat that. We both really need it.

Well, I’m gonna jet but I’ll post some fun pics asap of her visit so far.

Muwah.

ttfn.

who you tellin?!

2006-05-06T23:06:00.000-04:00

just messin around on blogspot and came across this quote. thanks to http://totallymua.blogspot.com/ for posting it. and if you're really 14? well done on recognizing how important this one is!

Money may be the husk of many things, but not the kernel. It brings you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintances, but not friends; servants, but not loyalty; days of joy, but not peace of happiness.

having been in the position of having lots of money and little joy in my life, this one really hit me. it's so true and a lot of people would be better off if they remembered it...

thank god i'm no longer in that place!!!

romanians rock!

2006-05-06T20:35:00.000-04:00

so, after my cupcake debacle and finishing them up this morning, erica and friends came and picked them up for the bridal shower they were going to. i think they looked cute, and judging by the 3 that i've eaten (hey, i'm the chef, i have to make sure it's good) they were pretty yummy. lol.

they informed me there was some romanian festival going on outside which i assumed was down along broadway so when they asked where they could get a cab i told them to make a right out of my building, walk down the street and catch one on water. oops. the fair was on water. ha. but i'm sure they found one okay (a couple passed by when i was walking around) and they were on their way and not late.

anywho, so i decide to go check out these romanians and their wares and food and i'm glad i did. for one block it was authentic (or what i presume to be) romanian stuff and then the rest of the street was your typical nyc street fair complete with crappy 5$ handbags, gyros, lemonade, falafel (which i couldnt resist making my lunch), italian sausages, and zeppoles (...dessert). excellent stuff and yet another thing i love about this place. so, without further ado, enjoy some pics. (i threw in a couple random neighborhood ones at the end there for kicks and giggles)

sugar...oh, honey honey

2006-05-03T13:20:00.000-04:00

so, something has happened to my body in the last 6 weeks or so...my sweet tooth has really gone through the roof and my craving for sugar just kinda came out of nowhere. this all happened two weeks after a neurologist told me that i need to watch my processed sugars since diabetes is in my family. GREAAAT. i dont really know why this is...it used to be that i could barely eat a little something sweet without it being "too much" and i never craved anything sweet. certain fried things that just screamed lard didnt do anything for me (potato chips for example) and now i seem to love them. YUCK. i'm really unhappy about this.

is it possible that there was some sort of major hormonal shift and that changed my cravings, likes, and dislikes?? is that even possible or am i making that up? all i know is i crave sweets and i have got to STOP asap. they make me tired, antsy, sluggish, and fat all in a very brief period of time. must get back to yoga and sweat all this shit out asap.

okay, my goal is at any point, in between meals, if i feel a craving or hunger for something i'm gonna drink WATER. and maybe i'll be wild and crazy and put crystal lite in it. or light. however they spell that these days. my sudden ability to eat mass quantities of bad things is completely unacceptable to me.

oh yeah, and headaches galore. more sugar and less water is just not good.

anywho.

well i just spent hours organizing my whole office and the supply cabinet. i'm antsy. spring cleaning i guess.

have a good nite little ones.

ttfn.

q'est-ce qui ce passe?!?!?!

2006-05-03T09:23:00.000-04:00

well kids, yet another entry from yours truly. be excited, be amazed.

i'm super pooped from yesterday....being here at work and having a HELLISH day which included some major attitude and yelling on my part at stupid assholes who dont do their jobs and then off to my internship where i proceeded to pastry chef it like nobody's business. yes, "pastry chef" is now also a verb. ie. "did you see her pastry chefin' it?! damn, son!" reckanize.

so much to do, so little time... tonite sha-nah-nah and i are getting together to do who knows what. i think we're gonna try to be crafty and drink wine and eat chinese. hopefully tonight (yes, i can spell it correctly though i choose not to most days) i can also go through my apt and really toss some shit that i dont use or want. tryna simplify the place and make it easier to roooaaaammmm if you want toooooo, rooooaaaaammmmm around the world....!

oooh! din din (or lunch lunch?) is served and damn it smells good. says it's supposed to be low fat but i'm thinking there's just no way. tryna get in shape for the big vacay to st. maartens! awwww yeah! thomas and i are going at the end of may and i absolutely can not wait. we both desperately need breaks, he moreso than i even, and laying on the beach and eating damn good french food sounds like heaven to me. our hotel is super nice and small too. parfait. ordered a few bikinis that tonight i'll try on and decide if i wanna keep or return which i imagine will also get my arse back into gear going to yoga. had a brief hiatus when i was sick and just could not do it. back to sweating my balls off in a super hot room. fuuuuun.

okay, i'm gonna eat. peace out. maybe i'll hop back on in a lil bit.

muwah.

ttfn.

tell it!

2006-05-02T09:23:00.000-04:00

"Some people think they have bad luck when the real problem is that they took bad chances."
--Thomas Sowell

happy uno de mayo kids!

2006-05-01T08:50:00.000-04:00

well, what a weekend! i started interning at Eleven Madison Park , a really nice restaurant with a super talented and fun pastry team. i was there until 1am friday nite and then yesterday from 10am to 6pm. i can pretty much come and go as i like since it's an unpaid thing, but it's pretty fun and i'm tryna learn and all...it's really good and i'm super lucky to have a found a cool place. they essentially offered me a job which was really flattering and very surprising and really cool as hell. i know i have a lot to learn, but i think i could be really good at this.

yesterday i walked over to staples after i left the restaurant and just before hopping on the train to go home, i was reminded of yet another reason why i love this town:

this totally cool old man in a suit (you can see his jacket slung over the post behind him) pulled out a red electric guitar and just started jammin right on the corner in front of my subway stop. i asked if i could take a pic bc i just had to capture the moment. he was pretty good and had this face that totally conveyed "hey, i just love playin' so i'm gonna do it anywhere i want". very cool.

today i'm completely exhausted but feeling really good. had a long talk with my momma over the weekend about future plans i currently have and where i am in my life and she was just thrilled for me. i have to say, i'm thrilled for me too. :) for those of you out of the loop, dont worry, it will all be revealed in good time. man, that sounds so cryptic. hehe.

well, back to work and tryna stay awake at my desk.

muwah.

ttfn sweetums.

ohhhhmmmm

2006-04-07T11:52:00.000-04:00

well, once again i have neglected my poor readers. a thousand apologies. for some reason, lately, the pull to blog just has not been there. strangely i think this is due to slowly getting my life together and feeling more content and at peace with myself and where i'm going (not to mention where i am). i'm sure this is a good thing. why i dont think to blog about the positive things, i dont know. maybe because i'm busy living them.

the sis came up and we had a great old time, better than expected i think. once the weirdness of my-sister-who-is-12-yrs-older-than-i went away, it turns out that we got along swell and had lots to talk about and relate. possibly the highlight being my renting a cute little red zipcar so we could motor on out to that queens museum only to be running late from a decadent lunch down in battery park and then get lost on the way (there is no exit 9P you f-ing piece of crap mapquest). after many a call to tom for help in navigating in his backyard (i was literally streets away...not at all in the vicinity of the museum-though, jackie robinson parkway is always a treat to drive) we said fuck it all and went to home depot. the museum had closed already.

why home depot you ask? well, bc i had a car. to most of you readers this still doesnt make sense to you. "okay...so you have a car and you decide to go lumber shopping???" no. but when the MTA is your standard form of transportation, purchasing anything that wont fit into two small plastic grocery bags is a challenge. an impossibility really. particularly for those of us who live alone. so, onto HD and i buy a most fantastic rug for my living room which i've needed for some time (and really goes with my color scheme) at the bonus price of 70 bucks. unheard of, i know. and this is a nice hooked wool rug. then, onto the garden center where i pick up some flats of pansies and i throw in a dwarf cherry tree for kicks and giggles. bc hey, i have a CAR! so, i gotta buy something big like a TREE. make it worth my while.

pansies and tree are doing well.

so, that was that weekend and loads of fun. since then, trips to nc, mucho sadness when leaving nc, two steps forward and two steps back (thanks, paula!) -- actually no steps back, but then the song line is incomplete-- catching up on rest, trying to organize my mind and life, and signing up for some yoga. yeehaw. i mean, ohhhhm.

well kiddies, i'm outty. just wanted to check in, say i'm not dead, but instead actually doing quite well. it's all about the baby steps.

ttfn.

oy! my achin' back!

2006-03-22T22:32:00.000-05:00

well kids, a thousand apologies for the lapse in bloggage. i just wasnt feelin it. it's been a KUHrazy few weeks....month? i know i've said this before to some of you, but i seriously feel like i've aged 5 years in the last two. i suppose that is a good thing...in some ways. i do feel wiser, like i know myself better, understand myself, and what's really important to me for my life. it sure did take a hell of a long time. not to say that i've got it all figured out, no. this is something i'll be working on forever i imagine. but mucho progress was made, i'd say, starting in fall '03. and boy am i exhausted.

thanks to tom for providing suggestions for my blog clog. i just didnt know what to say and i needed the kick in the pants. there is something i am going to post about...my fucking work garden project. i'll spare some colorful details, i dont like to talk about work on here really, but needless to say, after some stressing and planning (all for a non-gardener's standards) the 23 stone pots out on our office terrace will soon have plants in them. trees, flowers, roses, and even a blueberry bush. hey, i'm doin the work, i get to have some blueberries out there. so currently, i have 20 bags of soil sitting out on the terrace, and a gazillion plants on their way. i'm hoping that it will warm up a little bit by the time they get here as it's been sooo cold and i dont think my boss really wanted the garden in the conference room, last i checked. so, warm weather...puhleeeeeeze mother nature. i'll be sure to take pics along the way of this grand projecto.

the oldest sis comes to visit tomorrow nite and it should be fun yet strange! she's 12 years older than i, and though we get along great, we arent as close as i am as to colleen and william. probably because when i was 6 she was moving out of the house so we never really did much bonding. we'll do the museums, eat all over the place (you know how i love to eat out), and i'll drag her all over creation to see the sights. i'm gonna get a zip car and drive her out to the queens museum so she can see the HUGE, to scale, model of the city that was built for the world's fair. this is an incredible thing. if you guys havent seen it, check it out, definitely. thomas took me there way back when and it was just the most amazing thing...it's all 5 boroughs. lemme see if i can find a pic....

here's a little sampling of the view from downtown...keep in mind this is all miniature (yet the whole thing takes up a huge room and you walk around it from above):

you can read about it HERE

so anywho, should be a nice visit and we'll get to know each other even more than we do now. good times, great oldies.

well, i'm off to play some fish tycoon and then hit the sack. i'm pooped! lol.

ttfn kids.

march madness

2006-03-01T14:58:00.000-05:00

thanks to my fab cousin julie for this forwarding that just really struck my funny bone and made me laugh today. maybe y'all have read it, but i dont care, read it again. kisses. (i believe the authentic version can be found HERE )

How To Sing The Blues:
1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning..."

2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you
stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with
the meanest face in town."

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it.
Then find something that rhymes... sort of: "Got a good woman with the
meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in
town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pounds."

4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a
ditch-ain't no way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevies, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues
don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues
transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft
and state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays
a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults
sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the
electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place
in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just
clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the
best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place
that don't get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male
pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg because you were skiing is not
the blues. Breaking your leg 'cause an alligator be chomping on it, is.

9. You can't have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting
is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues:
a. highway
b. jailhouse
c. empty bed
d. bottom of a whiskey glass

Bad places for the Blues:
a. Bloomingdales
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League institutions
d. golf courses

11. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, unless you
happen to be an old ethnic person, and you slept in it.

12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:
a. you older than dirt
b. you blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can't be satisfied

No, if:
a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Memphis lived
d. you have a 401K or trust fund

13. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger
Woods cannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also
got a leg up on the blues.

14. If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the
Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. cheap wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. nasty black coffee

The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim Fast
e. Starbucks Frappuccino

15. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues
death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to
die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a
broken down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis
match or while getting liposuction.
16. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling

17. Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie

18. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, and Heather can't
sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

19. Make your own Blues name Starter Kit:
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc.)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.) For
example: Blind Lime Jefferson, Jakeleg Lemon Johnson or Cripple Kiwi
Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")

20. It doesn't matter how tragic your life: if you own a computer, you
cannot sing the blues. (unless, maybe if it's a PC and you're using
Windows).

apparently william, you're set to go, i just dont qualify, if we're going by names. lol. love ya :) dont know about that last one, it's kinda silly, but the whole thing was funny anyhow.

ttfn kids.
Crick'd Cherry Carter

self torture and other hobbies

2006-02-28T12:33:00.000-05:00

so, i am just full of self-reflection and introspection lately which has produced epiphanies galore. lucky me. one of these came with the help of someone who i consider to be a very good friend to me as we talked for hours last nite. things have been rough for me lately, internally, despite my ability to have fun and smile occasionally. it's just kind of that shit that you carry around with you like some people carry their spare tire around their waist. it gets in the way sometimes, it can bring you down, but still sometimes you're able to forget about it or at the very least not stress about it so you can sit down and have a fan-fucking-tastic meal. but i digress. my point here is that i've been really trying to focus on myself and be in tune with my real needs (as opposed to my wants at that moment) and while that has caused a good bit of hurt to myself and to other people i care about, i really think it's going to work this time.

my perspective has changed. i'm not sure when it really happened. and i wont blather on about too much, with too much excitement, as i tend to put the cart before the horse in almost every aspect of my life. why, i dont know...i like horses, i really do. but whatever. i do it anyhow. so in this conversation last nite, even though i knew it already, the fact that i tend to be my own worst enemy and play the role of my personal road block really just hit me hard. i'm sure we all do this in our own special ways. but this isnt about you, so stop being so selfish. god. there are things in my life that i want. yeah, it's taken me a long time and a lot of heartache and some re-he-heally bad decisions to get where i am (and well done, me!), but i honest to god think i'm getting there. here is what i want:

*inner peace and calm
*a committed partner
*children
*goals set and accomplished
*continually learning new things
*helping other people
*feeling and giving love
*keeping healthy so i'm able to do what i want for longer

those are the ones that are just off the top of my head. i'm sure there's more there. the thing for me though, is to stop being such a wimp and just GO FOR IT. and i'm not necessarily talking big things, i'm talking smaller things...interests, how you spend your time, learning new things, doing that thing that you for some reason have just avoided even though you can not for the life of you think why. i have several of those. what am i really afraid of? it's just ridiculous at this point. i'm the only one who can get those things on my list for me and if i'm just sitting on my ass, preventing myself from really living then i'm gonna be writing this gd entry again next year. and here's hoping i've done some of those on my list a few times over by that point.

so anywho, i've taken some very recent steps (even today in fact) to start moving forward with some of those things on my list so i'll letcha know as things progress. yay, baby steps, but steps nonetheless.

ttfn.

ps. pics to come of the 80s prom. weeeeeeeeeeee!

a la Tom & Jerry

2006-02-24T09:45:00.000-05:00

i dont know what my deal is these days...(well okay i have a lot of issues, but i'm not referring to those, lol)...i am just so damn tired so often and i get to work and seriously have to fight the heavy eye lids to stay open. i'm about ready to either 1) insert toothpicks or 2) tape my eyelids to my forehead, both of which i believe T&J experimented with at one point. the first option would probably hurt, so i may go with the second even though, how unsightly...really. gotta do whatcha gotta do though.

thank god it's friday. that's all i have to say about that. william is up visiting and we're gonna have mucho fundito. tonite is wine bars and working on decorations for tomorrow's 80s prom at a local bar. weeeeeeee! the place is gonna look great, of course, bc i'm the decorating committee. lol.
now if i can only figure out what to wear...

i really didnt have much else to say so i'll jet and leave you with this:

"If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you." -- Jack Handey

ttfn kids.

skiing down the slippery slope

2006-02-21T09:18:00.000-05:00

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" -- Benjamin Franklin

i'd say "and so it begins" but it began a while ago. it's old news. it will just keep getting worse until people really feel their freedoms arent free anymore...

HOORAY FOR READING PORN IN LIBRARIES! (or at least being able to)

hope everyone had a great long weekend.

ttfn.

tant pis...

2006-02-15T09:06:00.000-05:00

so i'm reading yet another article about these cartoons that are causing protests and DEATH in pakistan and i'm wondering what the big deal is really...maybe someone can explain? caricatures of other prophets, leaders, and deities have been around for a long time (i can picture atleast two of Christ right at this moment). have there been other uproars like this one but they just didnt get as much press?

i have yet to see these cartoons and i'm sure with a little effort i can find them on the net, but i'm on cnn's site and i get this at the bottom: "CNN is not showing the negative caricatures of the likeness of the Prophet Mohammed because the network believes its role is to cover the events surrounding the publication of the cartoons while not unnecessarily adding fuel to the controversy itself."

um...i suppose that's admirable, but WHEN does the media not add fuel to the fire?? if that was really the media's role in this world, to report only, that industry and the world would be very different indeed. they can show soldiers hanging from a bridge after being burned to death, with signs around their necks, over and over again, children's graphic injuries from bombs, yet they wont show a cartoon because it's currently inciting violence. am i supposed to say "well done"? the horrible stuff you can see nowadays, including on cnn.com, and they try to take some "higher road" and not show the thing that is actually causing the protests and violence. i, for one, am curious, and would like to know what all the fuss is about here, so i'll search elsewhere and find it.

am i alone here in this way of thinking? completely off base? please, do share. i'd like to be enlightened. the shocking and horrific actual photos they post, but this cartoon of a religious prophet, no dice. just not appropriate. yeah...i understand that...

on other notes, it's hump day, i'm super tired after having really rough dreams and waking up constantly, and i have 8 more hours of work. i should probably get on that.

hope everyone's VD (aka Tuesday) was good!

muah,
ttfn.

this post has been brought to you by the new word of the day:

desideratum \dih-sid-uh-RAY-tum; -RAH-\, noun; plural desiderata:

Something desired or considered necessary.

i have VD and it itches

2006-02-14T09:55:00.000-05:00

well, it's here..VD. i was going to write an entry that included such things as not understanding what the big deal is, hoping some day i'll have a long-lasting relationship where love is expressed daily in the most intimate ways and you dont need to buy shit one day out of the year to do it, and ending on a "love is impossible" note. but i decided against that. instead, i'll just say, "and a happy one to all my little valentines. thanks for lovin' you some me."

muah.

ttfn.

my kind of cupid:

Cupid and Psyche by Antonio Canova

now all is right in the world

2006-02-08T14:54:00.000-05:00

funny how new shoes can have that effect...particularly shoes on sale! and sure, the sale price, still a little up there, but what a deal i got on these bad boys, and even my favorite shoe designer! this has to be good karma for all the good shit i did in my past life ;)

after a lil drama, colleen and spencer left this morning and are in transit to az. will miss them :( spencer has got to be the cutest thing ever (you should see his toddler sign language skills!) and colleen is THE best sister you can have.

well, this was a quicky. sometimes those just hit the spot ;)

ttfn.

madness and other states of being

2006-02-06T09:05:00.000-05:00

crazy, crazy weekend. after deciding i'm invincible and injured i proceed to drink excessively on friday night. it was fun, but some bits of what i hope is "the old me" and some seemingly irrational behavior came out. i was told i acted ridiculous. i dont doubt it. you'd think i'd learn this lesson at some point....that i think i'm stronger than i am, tougher than i am, an exception to the rule, my own special brand of complex. some people may even agree. but thank god for those who say "heather, we all have issues, you're not going to scare me so just stop trying" and make me feel normal, feel like i'm just like everybody else, only in a different way. maybe some day i'll grow up and actually remember that i'm just as susceptible as everyone else and that traumas like to rear their heads when intoxicated. that doesnt ever stop, so why i keep fighting it, i dont know.

after lots of tears, ranting, poor decisions, phone calls, and a hangover, my sister and her son are out visiting from arizona and though a little "surreal" (her word) it's quite nice and i'm glad for it. the night wasnt a total insane waste.

my current favorite site was still up on my screen when i got in to work this morning so i read the most recent entry. it really hit me in a lot of ways, and just confirms a lot of my fears and hesitations. dont really know the answer though. you just kinda keep on doin' and that's all you can do i think. standing in one place is never the way to get anywhere. anyway, you can read the entry HERE.

i'm so incredibly tired this morning, i could really use a nap. i absolutely must start getting more sleep at night. just because i stay up later doesnt mean i still dont have to work at 8. so i might as well give in to this and just start sleeping earlier. being so tired you cant keep your eyes open really sucks. i need to install a bed under my desk so i can sleep under it like george on seinfeld.

well kids, maybe i'll post more later. love ya.

ttfn.

for the love!?!

2006-02-03T11:06:00.000-05:00

ahhhh dating. it's some funny shit right there. it's also a really big headache for a lot of people i know. i was just reading this really great entry in Greek Tragedy (my new favorite blog) and it reminded me of, well, one - my own life and two - the overall joy of trying to find the mate that's perfect for you. notice i didnt say the perfect mate. there's no such thing. there's just someone that's perfect for you. granted, "you" changes over time, but i think there's still a most basic foundation deep inside that is constant - who you are, your core values, how you were raised, your morals and goals in life. sometimes recognizing what's inside is the tough part, but i'm beginning to find it comes with growing older, being kind to yourself, and paying attention to yourself and those around you. you can learn a lot by being an observer first and acting second.

GT as i'll affectionately call it also has an entry about what kind of men to avoid. this was a pretty funny list and some of them i think are really on the mark and they only come with experience and lots and lots of mistakes. #37 i completely disagree with, but that aside, it's a fairly good list. it made me laugh to myself then go back and read Laura's and my compilation of our dating point scale. the do's and dont's for guys. you can read them here (dont forget to read the comments as it's a very interactive posting, lol): HERS MINE

now, some of these things on her list i may now feel differently about, but i'll say for the most part i'm sure it's still fairly accurate. you like what you like.

i'll need to find some lists that men put together so i'm informed on the current do's and dont's for women. inquiring minds want to know. if you've come across a list, or can put a quick one together, then by all means, do post it in my comments for all to see.

happy friday kids. hope you have an excellent weekend!!

ttfn.

keys of all kinds

2006-02-02T13:17:00.000-05:00

so, i'm having lock and key problems and since i live at a shitty apt building where they just dont get anything done in the way of maintenance requests, i'm thinking that any moment now people are just gonna start walking in and making themselves at home. kinda like when everyone's partying at the beach all summer and you just go from place to place, no one ever really knowing who's invited or who isnt, or "who even really lives here?", or who's playing host. strangers congregating because the door was open and you heard something interesting was going on inside. ahh, the good ol' days. but i'm kinda past that so i'd like my key to work in my lock in my front door. that would be somewhat comforting. the last thing you want is someone walking in at one of those many times that you'd call "inopportune".

my second key would be the alicia kind. i have "if i aint got you" in my head and i just love it. i love her. her music is this bluesy, sexy, attitude-filled, swaggering, you-either-like-me-or-you-dont thing that really gets me. particularly in this song. if you havent heard it you really should download it, it's some good shit right there.

keeping me distracted and completely entertained today is Stephanie Klein's blog . she is one funny girl. look for the entries about brazilian waxes, foreskin, and check out her photos too. very talented and very exposed. the best kind of blog if you ask me. the current entry is a sad one, but once you get past that, it's also very hopeful and it's making me feel quite good about my own future and its possibilities.

i'm turning 30 this year and apparently for those of us who just werent dying to be mommies, that's the age where you start thinking about your biological clock and the timing of your future offspring. it's that "well, it's crunch time, baby!" feeling. the math starts..."plus one...carry the two...three kids in 6 years barring complications..." nature isnt always kind and you really dont know how things will go, but i guess some light mental planning is okay and probably smart.

these feelings are also popping up because of the fantastic weekend i recently had with ma girls, three of whom have babies, and one who wasnt in attendance who is expecting twins! now, whether to my detriment or to my advantage, i've grown up with this very strong feeling of "well, if someone out there can do it, and it's possible, then surely i can do it too...what's the problem?!". once you really grow up you learn it's just not that simple. there are just some talents and abilities i never will have, though at one point in my life i was certain i could master with no problem:

tight-rope walking
backward somersault on balance beam (tho i actually did get quite close in my gymnast years)
extreme alpine mountain climbing
ventriloquism

just to name a few. so, in this case, the growing up/family/kid thing...seeing my friends, who i've known since the wee age of 8, have children is, in addition to a little strange, very eye-opening. it makes it very real and a lot less scary. i think in my head i've always felt that things had to just be perfect in order for me to take those steps with someone. me, my partner, my finances, my stability. i had to be completely on the ball. but now, i think i'm kinda figuring out that you really dont. i always joke that i cant take care of someone else when i cant even take care of myself. but, i HAVE been taking care of myself, and i can do it just fine. i may not feel like i do, i may be too hard on myself, but i think some things notwithstanding, i'm doing pretty well. and i imagine you're going to always feel this way, even as a parent. it's probably always a little funny and astonishing that you've procreated because you think "my god, i'm just me...that silly girl with all these issues who still feels like she's not grown up".

it appears though, that some day you realize that the qualifications of happiness, progess, and growth are not so out of your reach, and you'd really do just fine. you find someone, you become best friends, a team. you agree on goals together, you take scary steps together. and at the end of the day you giggle under the covers to each other that you're actually there...pulling it off, having a good time, getting through the hardships, and this is it. you're in it. this is what it's all about, and it's completely doable.

i'll never be perfectly organized, always be tidy, or stop procrastinating. it just wont happen. but i think i do need to start cutting myself some slack here. if the world implemented the requirements i'm imposing on myself in order to have children i think humanity might be a little screwed.

so, thanks to stephanie's blog, recent conversations with good friends, and catching up with my mommy friends, this is all on my mind. a very strange time indeed.

and that's my whole story about that.

ttfn.

the shit they come up with...

2006-01-31T10:57:00.000-05:00

this is just TOO GOOD, i had to share or i wouldnt be a good friend. you know those evenings when your friend comes over so you can cut his/her hair and you end up with just a big messy pile of hair all over your nice floor and they have tiny hairs that will be in their sweaters no matter how many times they're washed? well, NO MORE! yes, that's right, you too can be a stylin' stylist and freakishly clean all at the same time with this amaaaaazing invention. i'm sorry, but i'd rather bathe in my own cut, wet hair than wear this thing. wtf?!

click HERE for your very own Hair Cutting Umbrella

i'm thinking it's a pretty versatile piece of equipment as it can also come in handy around halloween, for a plethora of costume ideas:

*martian
*top of a soda can
*head on platter surrounded by food
*military aircraft carrier (military matchbox planes not included)
*one of "The Three Most Important People in the World" from Bill & Ted's
*an injured dog kept from licking the wound

and many, many more!

well kids, i hope you're enjoying all the pics. i'm off. didnt sleep well last nite, not sure why. havent been for a while. though i did get lots of cleaning and started making a dent in my laundry. okay, fine, i'm not actually doing it, i'm giving it to someone else to do....i admit it. but seriously, if i was gonna do it all you wouldnt hear from me for weeks, and no one wants that. i havent done laundry in months. and no, i'm not kidding. lol.

ttfn y'all.

picture pages, picture pages

2006-01-30T21:56:00.000-05:00

this will be all pics, just a quick update while i'm doing stuff around my apartment (my christmas tree is still up if that tells you anything!). pics are from my reunion weekend with the girls in md and then also a luau i went to recently with my friend clare at our favorite watering hole. enjoy!

ttfn.

to thine own self be true

2006-01-30T13:20:00.000-05:00

okay, do i KNOW myself or what? friday i predict i'll be getting a cold sore because i didnt sleep the night before and consequently run down, on top of my already being sick throughout the month. and sure enough, i wake up saturday with one, which thank god did not explode to the mammoth it is now until sunday morning. i absolutely hate these things and i blame my mother. lol. she said she got them all the time during high school and my brother and i have been dealing with them our whole lives because of it. i'm really quite tired of them, but it's gotten to the point where it's just something i'm used to and i know it's just a matter of time before it heals and goes away. i'd like to have some really juicy story as to why my lip is the size of texas, like someone punched me or something, but alas, i do not.

bitching and moaning out of the way, i had a FANTASTIC time over the weekend! friday night started with lots of great convo with the lil bro and dinner and then skeeball!! amazing to see him turn into a man...the little boy in the orange jumper, blonde hair, and all 4 front teeth out. so much fun and so rewarding. i'm really thankful that we're still so close and have a great relationship. we could really tell each other anything! that's a rarity between siblings and i'm so lucky for it. love you!! now, skeeball...i could seriously play that all night and if my tail bone wasnt broke i would have. lol. we made enough prize tickets between the two of us to get our sister something fun so she'd know she was there in spirit. lol. skeeball was always our thang, something we all just loved. so that was super fun! then saturday, with ma girls! some of whom i hadnt seen since high school! amazing really. the only sad part was that it couldnt just go all night, into the wee hours of the morning like the good ol' days. there was so much catching up to do and i feel like i barely touched on everything there was to talk about. i'll post some pics that linz sent and then i'll add some of mine when i get home to my camera. and just like the lil bro, it's so cool to see my girlfriends as women, with husbands, babies, homes, careers. man, do i feel old! but in all seriousness, i'm sooo lucky to have them and i'm thrilled we're in touch still. i'm a lucky, lucky girl.

also really fun was my amazing facial saturday afternoon which i totally needed, for both skin and stress reasons. i was glowing afterward and my skin was just so healthy. i think i need to start doing this atleast every other month. they just really get in there and deal with stuff that we dont attend to on a daily basis. so, good times! it was a wonderful time and i just wish laura and i could have been in the same room while we got them. next time we'll sign up for the "couples massage" so we get the two beds in one room. hahaahaha. that way we could even hold hands. ;)

well, some pics and then i'm back to work.

mama T, moi, LL

the gang...half of whom i have known since the 3rd grade and the other half since middle school!

shauna, laura, lindsay, nikki
heather, michele, theresa, me

ttfn kids. enjoy the beautiful weather!!

act your age!

2006-01-27T12:16:00.000-05:00

i'm not really sure what all the fuss is about acting your age. i mean, who decides how people in certain age brackets should behave? what is and isnt acceptable? i'm just gonna stop trying to think in those terms because i have no idea what i should be doing (or not doing as sometimes is the case) at the spritely, youthful age of 29 :)

this leads me to my evening last night. i, um, how would you put it....didnt ever go to bed. needless to say i'm a little tuckered out. now, all for what i deem to be good reasons, and fun was had by all, but i think my body is starting to actually tell me to act my age in a way. i just cant do the shit i did when i was younger. it takes a toll and it does so pretty quickly. i get run down, my immune system weakens, i get cold sores, i'm tired, and just generally sans energy. those of you who know me fairly well also know that i'm a glutton for punishment. if there's fun to be had i'll usually sacrifice something (usually my sleep/health/sanity) in order to take full advantage. i'm a sucker for a good time, what can i say. i'm a social creature, i want everyone to have fun, to take a load off, to not worry about this or that because there's just not time for it in the busy schedule that consists of good times. i'm the girl chillin in the wicker chair, slowly swiveling back and forth, imploring people to just get along, love each other and have fun in the senior week video. lol. i am still her, 11 years later, and yes, i do still have that video for those of you reading this and wondering if i do (and i know who you are! lol) ;) for as long as people have been asking each other "what is your one main goal in life?" i've been responding "to have fun". it's really just that simple.

so, my point...yes, i do have one. sometimes i can not know when to end a good time, when to be responsible, when to make the wiser choice considering the demands of life. i dont want to go home or tell guests to go home, turn music off, put the food and drink away, stop playing the game, dancing, or talking, and turn the lights out. it's usually never enough and i'm always the one bummed that the night is over, leaving just before the host has to politely tell me to get the hell out or stop talking and get my ass in bed. (laura, does this sound familiar?? haha)

last nite was so much fun and with the exception of a brief window there spent at a club, i wouldnt change a thing --

the drinks
the laughter
the silliness
the ballet dancing across 8th avenue
the reprimand by an insecure, short doorman
the dessert in lieu of dinner next to the uppity "i have to give presentation a C- tonight" man
the introductions
the search for ice cream in the freezing wind
the body warmth
the intimate conversation
the alarm going off at 7am though i had never gone to sleep

so i'm tired as hell and i'm sure i'll hit a brick wall in about an hour or two and collapse on my desk a la "face down into spaghetti". but it was well worth it and i'm back to where i started...acting your age. i think this year, with my realization that last year was spent thinking too much and not doing, it's gonna be about finding that perfect balance between being an adult and still allowing myself to play and feel joy with childlike naivete and abandon. i cant wait. i bet i can even do it and get some sleep. ;)

have a superb weekend all and go out there and have some fun with people you care for. because really that's what it's all about (you put your right arm in, you put your right arm out...)

ttfn.

......and man are my arms tired!!!!

2006-01-25T15:04:00.000-05:00

well, kids, i'm back. i know, dry your tears. as my little league coach used to say "rub it off, rub it off". ya know, thinking back, considering i was the only girl on the Cubs team, he could have been a little more sensitive. or maybe he did me a favor by treating me like all the boys? either way...a topic for another day...

i've picked a strange day to resume my blogging. the biggest reason being i have tons of work to do because i was out sick the last two days when my body suddenly decided to reject my stomach. yes, you read that right. the organ itself. i threw it up. in little bits. over a few hours. but after a quick pick up by an ambulance, some IVs in my arm, and proving that i can eat solids (read: jello) and not throw them up, i was released a mere 8 hours later. good times.

now, take THAT and add it to my freshly injured tailbone (coccyx for you smarty pants. for you stupidheads that's pronounced 'cock six') after falling on it pretty hard when i went to sit back on my imaginary bar stool thursday night. the x-rays on friday showed they werent broken but i did jam them up into each other pretty good for which i'll start physical therapy once it stops throbbing and limiting my mobility. more good times. (ps. cant take pain meds for it bc my stomach is on strike...life is truly not fair)

now, take THOSE and finally add this sinus bullshit that i've been dealing with for over 6 months now which i recently got a cat scan for. aside from a whole bunch of really intimidating phrases that included things like "mucos", "narrow airways", and "septal deviant", it all looked normal according to my jackass ENT doctor. (that's ear, nose, and throat for you stupidheads out there again.) so he says he's looking at the cat scan film itself to figure out what in gods name is wrong with me, but until then i should take these pills labeled "oxynotgonnahelpyaonebit/diflushitouttaluck/caffeine". i swear. that's what it says. it really says the word caffeine. wtf?! why dont you just tell me to drink pepsi while sucking on chocolate morsels. bc that would be more enjoyable and have the same effect.

so, long story short, or not really, i have returned. not necessarily all in one piece, but i have and i know you're thrilled to hear it. we'll see what this new adventure in blogland spits out. one thing's for sure, no more song lyrics unless it's "walking on sunshine" by katrina and the waves. so, good times, and like i always say, "it will be like an experiment!"

missed you kids.

and, oh yeah,

ttfn. ;)

**this post has been brought to you by the word "stupidhead", my health insurance company, and the numbing power of whiskey**

in with the old, out with the newfangled something or other.

2005-10-12T10:34:00.000-04:00

well kids, it's about that time. i know lately there's been a dearth of new blog entries and sadly you're gonna have to include mine in there. i'm taking a blogging break. what was intended to be fun, light, uplifting and cathartic has instead become a tool to aid me in over analyzing, over thinking, and being overly dramatic. that is so not what i want or who i want to be. so it comes to an end, atleast for now. i may post again down the road once i get my life back on track. when that will be, i dont know. no quick fixes here.

thanks for reading so diligently and all your comments, they've really meant a lot to me in a time when i really needed the lovin'.

i leave you with something funny, from your favorite pastry chef. ttfn kids.

giddyup lil cowgirl

2005-10-11T13:21:00.000-04:00

well, LL's blog reminded me of how much I love this song and I'm starting to finally understand why I've always enjoyed it, as depressing as it is. gotta love them eagles.

Desperado - Eagles

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
But I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet

Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're losin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you
(let sombody love you)
You better let somebody love you
before it's too late

ttfn kids. have a great evening. i'm off to garden in the rain at brooklyn bridge park! yeehaw.

say cheese, y'all!

2005-10-03T19:34:00.000-04:00

pics from my KUH-razy weekend in sunset beach, nc. these people seriously know how to party and have a good time. it was much-needed.

tara and tom sure like to boogie

susan briefly passes out to the whirrrr of the washer and dryer

crawfish etouffee...aka f-ing fantastic (or was it f-ing phenominal??)

the ladies de-crab for our crab dip that nite (it was unbelievable-thanks amy!)

seafood gumbo -- a surprise in the bottom of every bowl!

no jason, you cant steal my gumbo

truitt, you can mock all you want...a clean house is the best kind of party house! haha (aka i'm anal)

i still dont understand why we had to do body cavity searches...

off to the beach hon!

atleast you can drink while you get eaten alive by those f-ing bloodsucking monsters

a classic nc hoedown as demonstrated by doug, tom, and jason (hat and vice of choice required)

okay i dont even remember drinking that drink...tara, what is that?!

keri and doug do so enjoy their hand gestures...

all together now, all together now!

bob: "rub ma tummy. go'head. rub it."

thanks for a great time, the best food i've had in a long long time and the laughs, kids. you rock!

ttfn.

story of my life...

2005-10-03T12:36:00.000-04:00

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.: --Anais Nin

shall we? yes, let's!

2005-09-29T11:32:00.000-04:00

so, i dont know why, but i've heard this song quite a bit on my ipod lately and it gets me everytime:

Touched By an Angel - Stevie Nicks

the lyrics themselves are really nice, but combined with the tune it just chokes me up everytime. of course, when a song hits home for you it's oftentimes your own personal interpretation, as is the case for me now. different lines reflecting different parts of my life, and maybe a little bit of a desire right now to be saved by someone else who will make it all a little easier. though it's about aids for her, it's not about that at all for me, but i guess that's the beauty of music. it is and always will be art that has room for personal reflection and interpretation.

well, now i'll stop being all serious and stuff and post some fun pics from a recent visit out to LI and also from my wonderful cousin Julie's swingin' 30th birthday party!

LI - chillin at my Aunt's house with the fam:

Grandma shows Dad how it's done

makin' my grandma's nails all perty

mom and i struggling with a hard sudoku (don't worry, we solved it!)

kate likes my necklace as much as i do

mom enjoys being a great-aunt...she's paid her dues!

Julie's party:

the lovebirds dance

beth and i cut a rug

julie's lungs are in fiiiine shape!

the happy couple!

beth would ride a cowboy to save a horse...so selfless she is

mom and i break for a photo op

william's shocked when he realizes it's tom playing footsie with him

and you wonder where i got my tongue-sticking-out syndrome

barbies the next morning with the girls (yes, i'm a princess...but we already knew that)

ttfn kids, and I'm S.H.I.T.!

who you tellin?!

2005-09-26T12:18:00.000-04:00

you aint kiddin. enough already!

giddy up little horsey

2005-09-20T20:38:00.000-04:00

i dont imagine most of you follow these sorts of things, but some good news:

excerpts from the email they sent me: (if you sign up they send you info when amendments are up for vote so you can contact your senators too! :)

We did it! The U.S. Senate passed an amendment today by a stunning 68-29 vote that prohibits the use of any federal taxpayer funds to slaughter horses for food exports.

Together, these measures will effectively stop America's horses from being killed in three slaughterhouses in the U.S. that slaughter horses -- two in Texas and one in Illinois. The amendment also stops horses from being shipped to slaughterhouses in Canada or Mexico so that their meat can be exported to foreign countries.

"The market for horsemeat is not an American market," said Sen. Byrd. "Many Americans would be shocked to learn that our animals suffer such a fate, all in order to satisfy the tastes of those living in Europe and Asia."

In another welcome move, the Senate also approved two additional animal welfare amendments introduced by Sen. Daniel Akaka (D-HI). One amendment would ensure that "downed livestock" -- animals too sick or injured to walk -- are not allowed into the human food supply. The second amendment would prohibit tax dollars from being used for research facilities that purchase animals from "Class B dealers" who traffic in family pets for research.

F-ing Europeans and Asians...eating our horses. Bastards. Go to the Humane Society website to check out other ways you can help the animals. No, really. Go right now. The rest of my blog will still be here when you get back. Note: some of the videos are not for the weak of heart. I personally cant watch them-I'll cry at my desk.

On yet another happy note, just got back from my evening volunteering for Baby Buggy.
A fabulous non-profit that collects, re-sorts and distributes baby and children clothing, furniture, and accessories to the needy mothers in nyc. It felt great patching up clothes that you knew would soon be on some babies in need. What I learned tonight, which is interesting, and sad in an international trade law sort of way, is that in order to avoid some of the outrageous taxes that would otherwise be applied to some of the overseas corporate contributors, they have people cut little holes in the garments so they can be legitimately tagged as "damaged goods". So what did I do for two hours tonight? Patched those babies right up. Ridiculous that they even have to do that...non-profit, people...NON PROFIT! ugh. Someone needs to change those laws asap so we could have spent the time doing other things, but...such is the way for the time being.

Anyway, warm fuzzies all around today. Yay for horses and clothed babies ;)

Have a good night my peeps.

I'm out.

ttfn.

come onnnnn lucky number 7!

2005-09-19T11:40:00.000-04:00

so, i'll start out by saying that i'm horrible at these things. spitting out personal superlatives has always been difficult for me, maybe it's my indecisiveness? or maybe bc i just dont walk around with my favorites list in my head. either way, i'll try here as per Tom's request:

7 Things I Plan To Do Before I Die:

1. buy a house in france
2. have children
3. live on the water
4. improve my riding skills
5. maintain a long-lasting, happy, sexually fulfilling relationship
6. fly a helicopter
7. grow up

7 Things I Cannot Do:

1. learn to knit (no patience for this whatsoever)
2. blow glass
3. sing (as well as i'd like)
4. juggle
5. keep my apartment clean
6. surf
7. play a musical instrument proficiently

7 Things that Attract Me to the Opposite Sex:

1. sense of humor
2. confidence
3. humility
4. nice eyes, teeth, smile
5. open-minded opinions
6. inquisitive nature
7. optimism

7 Things I Say Most Often:

1. omg
2. yikes
3. good lord (thanks for reminding me shana)
4. for reals?
5. sweetie
6. fabulous
7. babydoll

7 Celebrity Crushes:

1. Michael Vartan
2. Clive Owen
3. Topher Grace
4. Daniel Goddard (who can resist a man in a loin cloth?!)
5. Timothy Hutton
6. Colin Firth
7. Kevin Rahm

7 People I Want to do this List:

1. Laura
2. Linz
3. Shana
4. Jules
5. William
6. Beth
7. Chris

whew! that was tough. your turn. i'm off to eat sushi. yum.

ttfn.

peanut butter and let downs

2005-09-09T17:12:00.000-04:00

some good and some bad in this post...Nutter Butter cookies - good, disappointments - bad.

if any of you out there dig peanut butter as much as i do (and that's a whole hell of a lot) and you havent ever had a Nutter Butter cookie, then stop reading this and go to your grocery store right this minute. these things are to die for, and if you add some Nutella then it's bordering on orgasmic.

now, the real reason for my post...it's more of a theoretical question for all you readers out there. WHY is it, in this world, it's so hard for people to convey disappointment to those around them? to the people that matter, the people who you'd expect want to do their part to ensure your happiness. why is it so hard to say "that hurt me" or "i was really disappointed by that" or "i didnt like that you did that"? do we feel that we arent entitled or deserving of wanting more or better or different? or do we feel that by saying such things we're just really complaining and not being strong or sucking it up? sure, we need to ultimately pick our battles, but just generally, why is it so hard to simply say "that thing you did or said...it upset me". in an effort to communicate and to build stronger relationships shouldnt we be able to say atleast that much? to declare our disappointment?

and sure, i realize, that possibly, the problem is just me. mine alone. no one else has this problem. but i dont think so. i've seen it in action in a lot of friends and family. it's super easy to complain to someone else, but to the person who wronged you, or merely upset you with a passing remark or action, it suddenly becomes uncomfortable and you decide that "ya know, maybe it wasnt such a big deal afterall." and if that's truly the case, then kudos to you for sorting out the bs from what's really important in this world. but in my life, i've found that silence between people can be deadly. friends, family, partners...these are the relationships where communication and honesty need to abound. surely it's wiser to err on the side of saying too much than not saying enough? if you say too much you can learn to pick your battles and manage complaints better. but if you never share them, never let them out? not only do you not ever learn, they fester and build up, leading to resentment and whole slew of imaginative theories, speculations, "certainties", and ultimately one-sided decisions all based on one person's thinking and interpretation. one person can go from a to z completely on their own while the other person is left sitting at a. reading, knitting, or what have you. ;)

so anyway, there's my rant about that. i'm gonna try to do my part in the world to be more open and honest about my disappointments in life, and i'll see where it gets me. after all, how can people give us what we want, when they dont know what it is? and i DO like to get what i want. ;) heehee.

have a great weekend kids. i'm off to LI again with the folks. be good.

ttfn.

lawdy dawdy

2005-09-07T14:22:00.000-04:00

so, i've been getting hell for not updating lately. i just havent had much to say on here really though. keeping busy, having some fun, the usual.

had the girls over again last nite and it was mucho fun. will post pics tonite. once again, we eat, we drink, and dancing ensues. good times, great oldies.

for some reason today i'm really exhausted yet really antsy at the same time, if that's even possible. i think i'm just itching for something to do, some changes. of course, one plus being this new mysterious thing would prevent me from doing everything i should be doing, and yeah, that list is rather lengthy. speaking of rather...click here for laughs that never fail me:

A Chicken to Ride

also hilarious:

Looking for my Leopard

enjoy kids, and have a bless-ed day. (i hate when people say that)

ttfn.

biggy biggy biggy

2005-08-23T23:22:00.000-04:00

escargot, my cargot....you gotsta rhyme betta dan dat yo...

i guess that's why they broke n you're so paid

(jen TRYING to whistle in the background but that bitch cant)

oral sex trumpet playahz in da hizzouse (ppphhhhmmmmppp)

shana does the booty robot

i needja ta gettup onda dance flo

la tortura video by shakira....how to find a husband (girls watch the video, learn the moves)

shana is schvitzing

jen dirty dances with the a/c unit

shana: "dont call us bitches...we ho's!!!"

jen: "i'm gonna have to do some grocery shoppin"

shana: "she just backed that cart up"

jen: (speaks in tongues, i cant understand her)

shana: "feel me lowaaahd"

jen to heather: "yo a boozehound"

shana: heather sho is fucked up

jen: "rub one out...that's what MY coach used to say..."

eye mask, jen out of the bathroom scare gone wrong-shana gets her eye poked out...just like yo mama said "it's all fun n games until somebody's eye gets poked out"

poke-a-hot-ass (aka pocahontas)

jen: "the groove is in the heart" shana: "but my eye hurts"

shana: white folks sho is crazy!

"blind in love" (you think it's lost in love but yo is wrong)

to ma girlz, i love yaz. lol.

had fun with yaz. love ya. partayyyyy on the 24th bizznatches!

Friday, I'm in Love

2005-08-19T10:47:00.000-04:00

so my fabulous cousin julie sent me an email and this was part of it. sometimes i skim through or even skip over entirely these "feel good" forwarding messages, but this one caught my attention with its organized, numbered format. lol. ;) anyway, after thinking about it for a second, i think it's actually a pretty good guide:

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

now, i know that #2 is gonna be tough for me. not worry?! are you kidding? i'm worried i cant do that! lol. but the rest, i think might come a little easier. living simply and giving more have been on my mind a lot lately. i think living in a city that is so focused on the Self can really make you jaded and suck out some of the natural warmth we all possess starting out. i dont want my life to be about acquiring and collecting. i want to have pride in what i do have, always taking inventory of what i dont really need and i can give to others instead. the expecting less bit i'm also working on. really tough. i can have high expectations sometimes unnecessarily, but hey, if i was a master of all 5 i'd probably not be posting this. lol. we all gotta have goals. :)

well, happy friday kids. i hope you all have great plans for the weekend. i'm going out to LI tomorrow with my parents to see the relatives and what not. should be really nice.

ttfn.

"take it easy baby, make it last all night!"

2005-08-18T09:51:00.000-04:00

shit and S.H.I.T. - aka So Happy It's Thursday" (see Linz's heelarious blog entry explaining this new hot acronym)

the other shit is for my horoscope of the day courtesy of amnewyork:

The dilemma that appears next seems to be insurmountable. Instead of pushing, wait.

greaaaaaat. because i NEEDED another dilemma. and so soon?! gd. cant a woman get a break? lol. though, you know, i'm not real scared as nothing could be as heart-wrenching and traumatic as my most recent major decisions in life. so anything from here on out i'm thinking i can handle with poise and grace. here's hopin' anyway! lol.

congrats out there to those who deserve it (and you know who you are!), i'm so proud of you! nothing better than being rewarded for your efforts and work. speaking of, i gave a coworker a raise yesterday, and damn if that doesnt feel so good. i only get to do it once a year though, so i try to relish in the good feelings. lol.

have a good day honey bunnys.

ttfn.

knickers in a twist

2005-08-15T16:55:00.000-04:00

as shana so kindly pointed out, i havent blogged in a few days. my deepest apologies, loyal following. hehe. i've been busy, "finding myself" as it were. i think it's going okay. in fact, i think it's going better than okay. fabulous, scary, new, sad, thrilling all in one. what could be better than that? tonite more thrilling action as i rehang my bedroom curtains which fell on me recently in the night and i think tuning and playing my violin. i havent played it in so long, i need to start doing that. it's to the point where i cant even say that i can play the violin. because really, i cant. and the "can can" doesnt count. even that would be shoddy at this point ;) so that's my plan. also, some grocery shopping as i'm gonna stop being a lazy ass and start eating at home from now on. i MUST start saving money if i'm ever gonna get where i want to be in life. i spend too much. priorities, girl! tsk tsk.

well, i leave you with something interesting...my parents have told me they're retiring to georgia. a nice little town with a lot of german heritage, like a mini germany smack dab in the middle of good ol' georgia. that's even farther than md! :( unacceptable. i know as i get older in life i'll want to be closer to them, and that's not helping guys!! hello!! lol.

love you kids. have a superb day. smile at someone who isnt. it will throw them off, make them wonder why you're so happy, and maybe get them to smile too.

ttfn.

ringling bros. is hiring!

2005-08-09T20:41:00.000-04:00

so, if you're gonna THROW FIRE there are certain rules to remember...one, and the most important one, when i'm walking near you? watch where you're throwing it, ass! why, god, WHY do people just throw well-burning cigarettes around in the city? okay, yes, it's a peeve that they get thrown in the first place. i was the girl who would put it out and then find a trash receptacle in my brief smoking moments. is that too much to ask? no. do i accept there will always be people littering (another peeve) and throwing their ciggies in the streets? fine. if i must. but before you just start throwing willy-nilly this flaming object, really people, look left, look right, just like your momma taught you before crossing the street. it will save you from the scowling look i would give you as well as any unkind words. and really, the look is enough. you dont want that.

ps. feel free to re-read the above paragraph and where it says "fire" insert "spit". the same goes for spitting, guys! i dont know about you but i loooove when i'm inches away from spit flying through the air, crossing in front of my body. man, not much better than that!

well, i'm off to ponder life and finish my sudoku puzzle that is making me batty.

love you kids. miss ya.

ttfn.

and a big happy birfday to momma HH! or, HC as she is now. though, heather, you'll always be my HH! hehe. happy birthday!!!

pps. beer of champions? Duvel...that shit is 8.5% alcohol. laura, tastes like maibock but a lil heavier...pretty tasty!

ppps. (yes, i do love these) i just discovered that while breaking from my sudoku puzzle on my pda, a great place to hold my stylus is in my cleavage... i am aimless no more ;)

(okay i did say i was drinking beer that's 8.5%, atleast i'm entertaining myself haha)

to all the girls i've blogged beforrrrrre

2005-08-08T10:20:00.000-04:00

thanks to shana for blogging and making me laugh so hard about our night saturday. whew. good times. read it HERE if you're too lazy to move the mouse over to her link on the right. i was in need of some blog in my veins and my slacker friends are, well, slacking. last posts by my lovahs:

*Laura-Aint-Love-Grand: 8/5/05

*Linz-Love-Sucks-My-Right-Nip (or so she wishes): 8/3/05

*Nikki-Love-Has-Its-Ups-and-Downs: 7/27/05 (where are you?!)

*Tom-Let-Me-Off-This-Roller-Coaster-Called-Love: 8/6/05

*Chris-Love-Rock-n-Roll-Style : 7/20/05 (the worst offender)

*William-Losing-My-Patience-With-Love: 5/14/05 (if we didnt talk i'd think you were dead)

*Eric-Life-Lessons-Learned-in-Love: 8/4/05

coooommmmme back to meeeeeee!

dont you all realize that i'm addicted to blog?! help a sista out here. update, bitches! i know you all got stuff going on. spill it.

ttfn.

ps. upcoming new sound clip (once the filebucket site is back up and running...sniff)

WHEW

2005-08-07T04:55:00.000-04:00

so, i'm so drunk right now that if i close myh eyes i'll vomit. i know, i know, that's so incredibly hot, you want to do me.. well, get in line. haha. tonight lesbos was a theme as shana and i had to act like lesbians for a good 6 hours or so to ward off the guys who thought that dancing on the same floor meanyt they could put their hand on your hi9ps. we started at bar veloce on 2nd ave and 11th. a favorite wine bar. good times. the two jens met up with us and we walked to some club that was no longer open. wanting to dance, we walked to sin sin and proceeded to sin. haha. no, i keed. we didnt sin. although, it wasnt out of the question. this is where the lesiba n activity started. obnoxious guys hit on you, and suddenly, the girl rule of "we're pretend lesbians" comes into play. now, this only happens when guys are really persistent. at sin sin we said goodbye to j-way and her cousin john. then we left about an hour later and we said goodbye to jen o. shana and i proceeded to marquee and used my "password" to get in. easy peasy. considering i was two sheets to the wind at this point. (matt, i know you love that saying. i'm not the only one who uses it. thanks for the cross streets.)

marquee was a good time except for the really forward guys. again, you'd think we were wearing t-shirts that said "i'm dancing, please fuck me". but alas, we were not. i love the word "alas". hehe. maybe bc typically it's all "velvet rope" and shit and hard to get into the guys think you're a certain type of person. well, shana and i are not that type. too bad for you, men-who-overstep-the-dance-floor-boundaries. we came to dance and that's what we're hoping to do. and we did. fun times, strobe light and all.

then shana proceeded to get hit in the elbow by a bastard taxi driver (it will be swollen tomorrrow.) and i taxi'd the rest of the way home, not tipping the fuck bc he told me to
"hurry up" at the atm i had him stop at. you know what? if you want to get paid and tipped, howz about you NOT tell me to hurry up. there's your tip, fucker (who took the long way around to get to --deleted to protect the innocent-- when i asked for --again, i'm not putting my cross streets online).

you know, i think they put something in the air at places like that--marquee and other rope places. though, i didnt notice it at cain . but my hair and body smell like strawberries or som e shit and i think it's something they push into the air. i know that sounds crazy, but go there and let me know. i'm pretty sure.

well kids, i'm really fucking tired and it is 5:19 am. normal people shouldnt be up so late. tsk, tsk.

hope you all had fun doing whatever you did tonite. love you guys, miss ya.

ttfn.

quiz-o-rama

2005-08-06T18:36:00.000-04:00

thanks to LL for posting this super fun yet challenging quiz about 80s lyrics:

tell me how you score. i got a 124.5

and as laura says, NO GOOGLING! the point is to see how many you know from memory. duh.

well, gotta get my lazy arse into the shower to meet ma girlz. have a good nite ya'll.

ttfn.

well isnt that touchiiiiing...

2005-08-03T10:47:00.000-04:00

i was on the way home yesterday and christina came on my ipod (yes, we're on a first name basis) and a song that i knew i loved played. however for some reason, whether it be my mood or the change in the moon's magnetic pull, it just hit me differently than it always did before. her Stripped album is an all-time favorite one. out of maybe 20 songs there's only 1 that i dont really listen to and all of the lyrics are just SO good. for a lot of personal reasons i could easily relate to them and empathize. anyway, here are the lyrics of the song. lucky her if this is autobiographical (maybe inspired by fiance jordan?).

Loving Me For Me

People ask if I’m in love with you
Because I’m sitting here with your picture
And smiling to myself
I’m kinda lost in my own thoughts of you
My heart speaks before my mind thinks through
And I blush as I say yes

What a feeling of vulnerability coming over me
And I’m feeling weak and I can’t speak
Never thought I’d give in so willingly to a human being
With abilities to set me free
Free, make me be me
Makes me want to say

Your lips, your love, your smile, your kiss
I must admit it’s a part of me
You please me, complete me, believe me
Like a melody
Your soul, your flow, your youth, your truth is simply proof
We were meant to be
But the best quality thats hookin’ me
Is that you’re loving me for me
Is that you’re loving me for me

People ask why I’m in love with you
Well, let me start by saying
You got my heart by just being who you are
And what we got is between me and you
It doesn’t matter about the money I make
Or what I do, or that I’m a, huh, a star

Unconditionally you’re there for me
Undeniably you inspire me, spiritually, so sweet
This is meaningful, is incredible, pleasurable, unforgettable
The way I feel, so sweet
Makes me want to say

Your lips, your love, your smile, your kiss
I must admit it’s a part of me
You please me, complete me, believe me
Like a melody
Your soul, your flow, your youth, your truth is simply proof
We were meant to be
But the best quality thats hookin’ me
Is that you’re loving me for me
Is that you’re loving me for me

Its so amazing how something so sweet
Has come and rearranged my life
I’ve been kissed by destiny
Oh, heaven came and saved me
An angel was placed at my feet
This isn’t ordinary, he’s loving me for me

Stripped of all make up, no need for fancy clothes
No cover ups, push ups
With him, I don’t have to put on a show
He loves every freckle, every curve, every inch of my skin
Fulfilling me entirely, taking all of me in
He’s real,he’s honest, he’s loving me for me
Yeah

gotta love that "yeah" added on to the end for good measure. makes me giggle a lil bit. but really, a beautiful song and if you havent heard it i recommend you download it. now if she'd just stop with the bright red lipstick and ott makeup...

ttfn.

tell it, dolly

2005-08-02T14:35:00.000-04:00

so, i'd like to thank the newest member of the blogging community, and my fabulous friend Shana for giving me a link to this other blog where i was really struck by the following statement:

"It's a story of a woman going for what she wants. As compulsive and over the top as she can be, in the end, you fall in love with her, for her ability to know and get what she wants just by being true to herself."

WELL SAID. i want to be that woman. finding out what you need and being true to yourself has been one of, if not THE, biggest challenges for me recently. i have never been more unsure of so many things at one time and it's becoming a bit overwhelming to be honest. as shana so sweetly pointed out recently though, i HAVE had quite a year, with a lot of shit to deal with, bad things, tragedies, and i shouldnt expect to have it all answered and put together. and i guess that's true, i should cut myself some slack. but i dont like feeling aimless. i mean, sure, i can be indecisive at moments, but this is getting to be a bit ridiculous. lol. i have a feeling i'll look back to this brief period of my life and see that it was a really crucial moment, a changing point, and hopefully a period of growth and development. i'm gettin all introspective on you guys, but what can i say, it's my thang. tumultuous times call for reflection and change. the reflection part i've got down to a science. it's that last part that trips me up.

what do i want? what do i need? what are my priorities? goals? what do i want out of my life? i'm feeling pretty antsy these days. clearly. an understatement i suppose. i'm doing that "shaky leg thing" much more frequently, which i know some of you love. ha. ants in the pants. i like limbo - the game where you have to contort yourself to fit under a low lying bar or tiki torch (such was the case in turks). i dont however like being IN limbo. and i still feel that i am. my patience is wearing thin. maybe i'm just a little nutty and i'll always feel this way. maybe my inquisitive nature prevents me from ever sitting still. maybe i just really like iced tea. sorry, but i do (just had another sip...mmmmm).

well kids, there's your doozie for the day. funny word...doozie. is that how you spell it? doozy? either way, you got it. dont say i never gave you anything.

ttfn and some hugs too (yes, i'm in a huggy mood).

i hate technology

2005-08-01T10:03:00.000-04:00

so, i started to blog last nite after i got back from the airport and my notebook decides to CRASH while in mid blog. i lost everything and right now i'm just hoping i dont lose everything on my pc. anyway, what i had written was funny and witty and included a little bitching and moaning about this horrific coughing i've had going on for over a week. keeps me up at night and i'm exhausted. anyway, the subject line was "We. Are. FAAA-mily!" and it basically was me catching up on pics of my family. first bit is from my visit to my grandmother's house in jersey after she passed away (the cousins and i went and had some drinks together) and then the rest is from my niece's visit just this past week. yahoo for school. enjoy.

jim gets his groove on with pooh

i would be a very scary librarian i think (in some old glasses of my grandfather's)

as you can see, some pieces at Moma leave something to be desired... (yes, that's what you think it is...a canvas painted all black)

my all time favorite painting - Girl before a Mirror by Picasso

spencer loooves his Chanel ;)

megan would do anything to be like george...

ttfn.

The Great Lee Honky-Tonk

2005-07-26T09:53:00.000-04:00

okay, if LL has never invited you to one of her family get togethers where they drink and sing, i highly recommend you harrass her until she does bc this was the most fun i'd had in a long time. i think we really sang the gamut - james taylor to madonna to brooks n dunn. the first pics are of kristin's party we went to saturday night where we met up with linz and colleen. good times had by all despite the humidity and the fact that it was hotter than balls. enjoy!

colleen tries to consolidate smoking and drinking into one

linz, i thought i told you to put the big glasses on...

laura explains that she'll nurse her babies with AmberBock, a Lee tradition

awwww...lovahs

when laura's dad pulls out the pirate's cap you know it's gonna be a crazy night

daddy's hoping for a kiss goodnight, mckenna thinks a big lick would be more fun

nothing comes between laura and her kirin

somebody cut her off...

singin and wailin...notice the empty maibock jug - excellent

cameron and i sing and dance out in the grass in the "jungle"

ahhh the versitility of tupperware...

insect repellant or breath mint? you decide.

sweaty heather and lees sandwich!

you know i'm two sheets to the wind when i'm pulling out the air quotations during my story telling

just doing our part to recycle beer bottle caps

cameron loves my shiny watch and i love cameron ( i wanted to take her home, julie said no)

LL thanks again so much for letting me hang with your family, they're the best! cant wait to see them again.

ttfn.

do the can-can-can!

2005-07-25T19:27:00.000-04:00

actually, no, it's not the can-can. it's the ballee as billy elliot would say. and i cant wait. bought my tickets for it today, show's on wednesday night. got some great seats for me and my niece visiting from FL. the bolshoi is visiting for the first time in like 5 years and i cant wait to see them. i never have and they have a new director now who has caused quite a stir but who's supposed to be fabulous.

last time i was at the ballet was when matt surprised me for valentine's day last year and took me to see sleeping beauty. that was a lot of fun. good thing about the met is that there isnt a bad seat in the house. so our great seats wednesday should be amazing. hope she likes it. she used to dance too so i think she will. it's a surprise, all she knows is that i have tickets for a performance. yay. i love surprises. good ones, that is ;)

well, i really didnt have much to say, but i was tired of being so sad from my last entry popping up all the time. needed to change that, as indicated by my new soundwave.

i'm off to grab a bite and then finish cleaning and organizing so my place is together before meg gets here. love you kids, you're fab.

will try to post pics asap of my weekend with the LL. :)

ttfn.

my "babygirl"

2005-07-19T13:13:00.000-04:00

Natasha
Nov. 19, 2002 - July 18, 2005

in tears. not much else to say. freak accident at the dog run. 3rd box of tissues at my desk. wanna go home, crawl back under the covers that still smell like her.

big girl...all 8 pounds of her

napping on daddy's chest as a puppy

nobody gets between me and my ball!

i sleep on the pillow just like mommy

ahhhh...hot clothes fresh out of the dryer...

we'll miss you babydoll.

ttfn.

apparently i'm only consistent about being inconsistent...

2005-07-15T16:22:00.000-04:00

so i took this same quiz online a while back and was a goddess. yay me. however, per monsieur pelbois' request i have just taken it again. and surprise, it's something entirely different.

You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal.

"And The Phoenix's cycle had reached
zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He
emerged from his own ashes, to be forever
immortal."

Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl
(Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum
(Egyptian).
The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life,
the number 0, and the element of fire.
His sign is the eclipsed sun.

As a member of Form 0, you are a determined
individual. You tend to keep your sense of
optomism, even through tough times and have a
positive outlook on most situations. You have
a way of looking at going through life as a
journey that you can constantly learn from.
Phoenixes are the best friends to have because
they cheer people up easily.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

i'm off to md, have a great weekend!

ttfn.

girls just wanna have fu-un...

2005-07-15T09:42:00.000-04:00

had a superb time wednesday night "listening" to the philharmonic in the park as i met some great new girlfriends. we were too busy chatting, drinking, and eating to tell you what they actually played, but since when is that a bad thing? ;) without further ado, some pics from the evening. enjoy!

munpreet, shana

lisa, jen

j, alena, lucy

shana, yours truly

you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you cant pick your friend's nose...

j strikes a pose, alena wonders "what have i gotten myself into?"

"you wouldnt believe what a bitch heather can be when you're trying to find her in a crowded park..."

off to md this weekend, so ya'll be good now, ya hear? miss me while i'm gone. except for those that will see me, and in that case, dont.

ttfn.

thunk 'eaven for leetle...boys?!

2005-07-13T16:21:00.000-04:00

the only thing keeping me alert and grounded today are little school boys. it's true. CLICK HERE for the sad, sad evidence. i just cant help myself. should probably go to the gym tonight to counter these feelings of guilt i'm now experiencing. i've been a naughty, naughty girl. ;)

tonight i'm heading up to see the philharmonic in central park and have a picnic with ma girlz. should be fun, about 6 of us i think. wanted to bring natasha but it just wouldnt make sense to go all the way downtown just to come back up. this must be the ONE occasion where i knew i'd miss living uptown. i knew i'd have one, there it is. lol.

then tomorrow night it's out with ma girlz from tci. we've been trying to get together since we met on vacay but for a number of reasons it just hasnt happened yet. i'm really looking forward to it. ladies, if you're reading this, no more postponing...dont make me come up there and administer an ass kickin. love ya, see ya tomorrow.

and then last but certainly not least, friday i go to maryland, yay, to see my honey bunny lauralee and get some of that good ol' fashioned, slow groovin' lovin' that she does so well. cant wait, really need it.

i know i'm posting twice in one day, so dont forget to scroll down my little fans to see my WANTED ad. my girls with big jets wanna win and we're taking no prisoners.

have a good evening kids. stay dry, and be good. well, as good as i am.

ttfn.

WANTED! (Equal Opportunity Employer)

2005-07-13T14:48:00.000-04:00

Start Date: um...this fall i think?
Position: Manager
Enterprise: Heather's Fantasy Football Team
Team Name: She's Got Big Jets
Monetary Consideration: None
Warm Fuzzies Consideration: Infinite
Job Description: Looking for a smart, funny guy who knows his stuff about football who can help me lead my team to victory as I know nothing of these things. I only set up the account after much whining from Laura's brother Christopher (love you, chris! :) So, if you feel you qualify for this position please do not hesitate to contact me by commenting to this posting.

Hut, hut!

ttfn.

revenge of the....oh, wait, i'm NOT one...

2005-07-06T19:57:00.000-04:00

thanks LL for declaring your nerd status to the world. sadly, you're a bigger nerd than I am. but, didnt we already know this? ;) hehe. love youz.

man, i am so cool.

ttfn.

ps. just started reading gone with the wind for the first time - havent seen the movie - and it's fantastic! but i'm still not a nerd...lol.

all that and a bag of chips!

2005-07-05T20:04:00.000-04:00

FIRST of all, to my wonderful, amazing friend Ash - you rock my world. Thank you soooo much for coming up this past weekend and helping me unpack and settle into my new pad and for all the emotional support!!! If you hadnt come up I'd be surrounded by boxes, laying on my couch, playing on the internet, eating too much, and upset. HA. I really can not thank you enough, it meant so much to me to have someone I truly trust and knew I could rely on there with me.

secondly, i bought sour cherries at the union square farmers market with ash on monday afternoon and DAMN! those are good! eating them now as i blog like popcorn. except this popcorn makes my jaw tingle.

mmmmmmmmm sour!

thirdly, a pic i took while ash and i were in the book store waiting for her train yesterday. apparently someone there did not go to school for shelving skills:

the poor, poor child who just wants to find a book about how much he loves his grandma...wont he learn a thing or two. maybe he'll even buy the Love Coupons. "here grandma, it says i'm supposed to lick your toes to say i love you...i even filled it out myself. love, mikey" HAHA

lastly, i will leave you with this: LAURA ROCKS AND SO DOES FREDDIE MERCURY

ttfn kids. i'm off to relax, keep working on my new fabulous apt (pics to follow soon) and maybe indulge in myself a lil. (oh get your head out of the gutter, it's innocent i assure you).

ps. happy belated birthday amurrica!

to ma girls

2005-06-27T18:56:00.000-04:00

okay, i have some INCREDIBLE friends. i feel so fortunate and lucky. i would NEVER be almost done packing for my move tomorrow if it werent for laura and lindsay who i will be forever in love with. they busted ass, motivated me, pulled me down from the ledge more than a couple times during the mad packing weekend (see laura's entry-pack n' yack-great!) that they drove up for and went through two hellish drives here and back. i have a lot of trouble asking for help, determined to prove to myself and others that i can do it all, but there comes a point where you just have to recognize that weakness for what it is and give in to it. people WANT to help, it helps them too and you're selfish to not give the opportunity. now the girls might argue otherwise right now (hahaha) but girls, THANK YOU SO MUCH. it meant so much to me, in a time when i was feeling pretty disabled (hence the 3 boxes i had packed as of saturday morning) you guys totally came through for me. and we had some FUN too! yay.

in my packing tonite i found an old card that i saved bc i just loved the front and it reminds me of the relationship i have with them both, and lucky for me, have had for almost my whole lifetime:

Oh, the comfort,
the inexpressible comfort
of feeling safe with a person -
having neither to weigh
thoughts or measure words,
but pour them all out,
chaff and grain together,
knowing that a faithful
hand will take and sift them-
keep what is worth keeping,
and with a breath of kindness,
blow the rest away.
--George Eliot

I LOVE YOU GIRLS!

ttfn.

stick in my wha?!

2005-06-25T00:08:00.000-04:00

and heather yells to laura in the bathroom, "it's not really that good...i have a better butt plug!"

hahahahaha. and you wish you knew what was going on over here....too bad!

goin out for drinks with ma girlz, lovahs.

ttfn.

on the eve of my big move...

2005-06-23T10:57:00.000-04:00

so, reading the Post today (a most fabulous newspaper) there was a great article comparing the Upper East Side, my current residence, with Downtown, my residence come next tuesday. People ask me all the time why I'm moving down there and usually I just respond "I've missed it, I'm a downtown girl." this article however really captures the differences between the areas and conveys how one might feel that moving from one to the other is almost like moving to a different city. as strange as that sounds, it's pretty true. i think other new yorkers can vouche for this. may also give you some insight into Yours Truly. enjoy. ;)

ttfn.

stop the presses

2005-06-22T19:37:00.000-04:00

take quiz below at your own risk. in an effort to make it fair to all i apparently made it impossible, even for those that know me best. will remake it soon, dont cry.

ttfn.

show me the love!

2005-06-22T16:19:00.000-04:00

alright kiddies, let's put your love for me to the test (bend over!)....here's a quiz all about yours truly:

Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

SCOREBOARD

ttfn.

*pant, pant, pant...sniff, sniff, sniff...pissssssss"

2005-06-21T14:01:00.000-04:00

phreakylee: hey
BailsNYC: hey!
BailsNYC: omg
BailsNYC: i've been DYING
BailsNYC: do you ever feel that aside from pets you and i are the only people on this planet ALWAYS excited to see each other? (or talk to each other, whatever)
phreakylee: YES

apparently we cant stand two hours apart from each other. when the laws change, we'll marry.

new word for the day: ALOVE

phreakylee: im not great
phreakylee: but alove and here
BailsNYC: is "alove" a new word for "alone" and "alive" ?
BailsNYC: i think we should make it so

ttfn.

you gotta take the power back!

2005-06-21T13:48:00.000-04:00

gotta love rage against the machine. good times, great oldies. today, their little jingle fit perfectly. sometimes you share something with someone else and it takes on a whole new meaning and life of its own...so what do you do? (insert title here)

sharing things close to you is good and fun until somebody's eye gets poked out. OUCH.

without further ado, one of my all-time favorite songs: (i highly recommend downloading as the music really adds to the stellar lyrics)

Neon Moon by Brooks and Dunn

When the sun goes down
On my side of town
That lonesome feeling
Comes to my door
The whole world turns blue

There’s a rundown bar
Cross the railroad tracks
I’ve got a table for two
Way in the back
Where I sit alone
And think of losing you

I spend most every night
Beneath the light
Of this neon moon

If you lose your one and only
There’s always room here for
The lonely
To watch your broken dreams
Dance in and out of the beams
Of a neon moon

I think of two young lovers
Running wild and free
I close my eyes
And sometimes see
You in the shadows
Of this smoke-filled room

No telling how many tears
I’ve sat here and cried
Or how many lies
That I’ve lied
Telling my poor heart
She’ll come back someday

Oh, but I’ll be alright
As long as there’s light
From a neon moon

If you lose your one and only
There’s always room here for
The lonely
To watch your broken dreams
Dance in and out of the beams
Of a neon moon

The jukebox plays on
Drink by drink
The words of every sad song
Seem to say what I think
This hurt inside of me
Ain’t never gonna end

Oh, but I’ll be alright
As long as there’s light
From a neon moon

If you lose your one and only
There’s always room here for
The lonely
To watch your broken dreams
Dance in and out of the beams
Of a neon moon

To watch your broken dreams
Dance in and out of the beams
Of a neon moon

To watch your broken dreams
Dance in and out of the beams
Of a neon moon

as my sister would say, good stuff maynard! and no, i'm not waxing poetic over here in sadness, i just love the song and needed to share. lucky you.

ttfn.

just sliiiide a little...just riiiide a little...

2005-06-16T00:35:00.000-04:00

well kids, here are the rest of them. who knew cigars, men with thick french accents, and cheese that smells like sperm could be so much fun....enjoy.

will be away from tonight until sunday night (in jersey for my grandmother's burial *sniff*) and wont have email access, so i'll talk to you all monday.

ttfn lovahs.

foam party!

no, calvin, all i wanted was some lotion on my BACK...

Tennis comedy show - cavemen discover the game...

how New Yorkers play it (thick brooklyn accents, prissy tease girlfriend, overprotective machismo boyfriend --- typical??)

Japanese like to do it with the lens (and other accessories) off...

The Italian and the stallion in his pants..."ciao baby"

"are you for scubAH?!" (that's me in the middle going for my quicky refresher dive)

ahhhh the power of cheese...that smells like cum (the innocent french woman in the background tried to explain that it had been too ripe...we had our own theories)

fishing trip PRE puking (i think i threw up like 6 or 7 times total...but after that? good times!!)

ugliest barracuda i've ever seen. some monster teeth on that guy...

"just hurry and take the picture, it's spouting blood all over me!"

"you mean, i stick the long pole into this slot in my pelvis?"

it's a girl!

elaine gets some action from her catch

the piece de resistence! (the chefs so kindly cooked them up for us back at the resort)

"AJ dont look at me like that...I could juggle if I really wanted to"

apparently I really can't

"why does this cigar taste like metal??"

"look eet us and ouhr zexy seegahrs! huh huh HUH!"

my naughty cigar got a good lickin'

"you must squeent like zees eef you want to be zexy smokahrs!"

some lovin' from my favorite scubAH?! instructor

i'm so glad you can see my panties in this one...a gift, from me to you

i'll take you to the candy shop...

no one's told calvin that this isnt the bahamas but eees okAY!?

Emilio loves being the meat in their sandwich

Made In Canada, eh?!

Debbie corrupts two innocent Coast Guard guys passing through on their way to Gitmo

AJ apparently having way too much fun saving Debbie from ze crazy Italian stalker (AJ, put that thing away!)

sadly he doesnt get the hint and I have to pull out the ol' blunt "she doesnt want to dance with you, sorry"

Debbie didnt want that earring in my hair, she told me so.

"okay, go now!...orrr, now!...um...ready heather?...go NOW!"

apparently if you cover your eyes with your hands they wont hit you

and the pics come rolling in...

2005-06-15T12:49:00.000-04:00

that's kinda like the saints come marching in except it's pictures and there's no marching. uh...yeah. something like that. enjoy, my loyal fans...

room and view

debbie, me, elaine, marla

nightly entertainment (aka the hottest couple -josh and dany- juggles)

me, debbie, and elaine at sharky's bar for the sunset party (where josh sings like a rock star and "mr spandex" dances like nobody's watching...seriously)

debbie reminds us all that Eau d'Off is the best perfume

deep sea fishing trip!! we caught some huge mf-ers: barracuda, black fin tuna, yellow tail snapper, mackerel. had the chefs at the resort cook it up for us...so yummy

jill and bea

bea will try anything to get close to her dreamy boyfriend

jill is serious when it comes to her busch

more to come kids, have a super day.

ttfn.

houdini, eat your heart out

2005-06-13T11:29:00.000-04:00

let the cheering begin, i'm back from my vacay. well, cheering for you, not so much for me. today i'm feeling that intense CRASH that happens after you return from an incredible time of escape, away from your life and your job and you feel SO low knowing that it's over. i know it's a phase and it will pass, but let me tell you, being back at work SUCKS. my little trip was very eye-opening in a lot of ways and now i'm finding some parts of my life completely unacceptable. this of course in combination with general life questions makes for a really GOOD time, i assure you.

typically i LOVE coming back to the city after being away. it always feels like home, my element, and though life may have its uncertainties i've always felt relief in returning. it was different this time though. sure, there were things/people i was missing, and i was happy to come back here for them, but i'm still left with this unsettling feeling. and because i'm a drama queen, my recurring concerns about my happiness swing back around and i'm left wondering if i'll ever feel content. most days i really believe i'm an insatiable human being and this concerns me. someone said to me once "heather, maybe your purpose in life is not to be content. maybe being content is not what you're meant to strive for, but rather a life of change and constant searching. try to look at it in a positive way." well, i try. i really do. today, unsuccessfully.

it's been a pretty rough year, and i dont just mean since january. i'm really tired of this feeling of limbo, yet i'm scared as hell to make a decision, and stick to it. i think what it really comes down to is that i've just been so worn out and stressed, probably since last april, and i'm so over it. i dont want drama, i want peaceful excitement. recently someone pointed out to me that i need to be allowed to be a little crazy sometimes. i need to be with someone who will indulge me, but who will also keep me in check and not let me get too nutty, which i can easily do when unchecked.

it wasnt at all my intention of getting all "heavy" today...but i guess it happens sometimes. i'll try to avoid this shit when i can, for everyone's sake. i'll be posting some pics of my amazing vacation soon, as soon as i get my hands on them (i didnt take many, a friend did). on a fun note my nose is peeling and it's so red i could probably lead a hundred reindeer through some serious fog with no problem. ouch. :(

ttfn for now. missed you.

it's an homage, hon

2005-06-03T08:36:00.000-04:00

so, just a couple tips of the hat to good ol' Baltimore today:

B-more Careful by Shannon Holmes - aka your unofficial guide to living in the streets of Balmore

Hon Fest/Big Hair Bash - aka the celebration of working ladies of balmore and their hair

If anyone goes to the bash do let me know, it sounds like a real hoot! And take some pics while you're at it.

So tonight I pack and get myself ready for my flight early tomorrow morning. I'm pretty excited and a little anxious too. Can't wait to be laying out on the beach tomorrow afternoon! Yeehaw baby. You kids have fun while I'm away and don't get into too much trouble...a challenge, I know. Try to go on without me, I know you can do it with a little effort.

B'lieve!

ttfn.

upside down...round you turn me

2005-06-02T15:18:00.000-04:00

growing up i absolutely loved that song. i thought the tune and beat were just so catchy and the lyrics were all fun: Upside Down by Diana Ross. funny how that happens--you grow up and you realize "hey...those lyrics arent really that fun afterall". i mean, diana ross...if he's cheating, kick his ass to the curb, girl! the same thing happened with Just a Gigolo by DLR. i loved that song and thought it was so fun and happy and turns out...no, it's not at all. he's a lonely man who's used by women. but hey, in my defense, i was 7 and not really paying attention to the lyrics of words like i do now (and thank god or else i would have been even more fucked up than i am now!) why that song is in my head today, i dont know. i AM feeling a bit "off" today, but not due to one particular person who's cheating on me. so, not really an accurate song for today's score, but it's in my head nonetheless.

so, i'm really just back for a stopover as my boss pointed out to me this morning. i got back late last nite from FL (family is good, thanks for all the emails and prayers) and i leave early saturday for T&C. i cant wait. i've got scuba diving sunday, monday, and tuesday and i'm really looking forward to that. also to the deep sea fishing, the sailing, the windsurfing, the laying out and reading and good food. a week to do whatever i want and forget about life for awhile. (sing it billy joel) if ya wanna see the resort just click here: Club Med It's the Turkoise resort. very cool.

tonight my friend erica is staying with me while she's in town for a conference tomorrow and we'll have a lil sleepover and catch up. she'll get to me late so i'll do some unpacking from FL and packing for T&C, and go to the gym. if i'm really good i'll even have some time to do some packing of my apt for the big move at the end of the month.

well kids, i know this was totally unexciting but such is my mood today. i'm in a grand master phunk.

love ya.

ttfn.

ohhhhhhh man...

2005-05-27T10:32:00.000-04:00

someone once turned me on to reading my horoscope (which i had previously thought silly and still now just read for kicks) and though lately i havent, this morning they just caught my eye as i was going through my trusty AM New York. with two trips coming up (today and next saturday), yesterday's reminded me to check my packing list twice particularly for important documents (passport--check; diving ID and logbook--check) and today's was just as appropriate, though a little deeper:

What you thought and what you're learning are two very different things. Wait until you understand both before you choose one over the other.

now, those of you who i have talked to lately about my relationships will think this sounds very familiar. i've been saying it quite a bit. that what i felt i knew has been turned on its head and apparently even that was very little. it's quite a learning curve i have coming up here. feeling like maybe i'm gonna be learning greek with a russian textbook. a very daunting task that i know is coming but i cant start yet for a variety of reasons. i guess the key factor is that i'll have someone else studying with me, who's just as lost, who wants to master the language, but still...daunting. god, i love analogies. who's with me? lol.

anyway, tonite i fly to florida to visit my sister and her family after the passing of my nephew matthew. i'm anxious to get down there. to hug, to comfort, to cry, to laugh. will be nice to be with family again.

have a good long weekend kids. be good.

ttfn.

sniff

2005-05-26T21:29:00.000-04:00

so my dad just sent pics of my mom's graduation from getting yet another degree. she is such an incredible woman and such a huge inspiration to me in so many aspects - a woman, a wife, a mother, an individual, a daughter. she seems to pull it all off so effortlessly. just had to share this pic with you, i LOVE my father's shit eating grin...he's SO PROUD of his "Ei". (my mom's name is Eileen)

LOVE YOU MOM! i will continue striving to be as fabulous as you already are.

ttfn.

new poll, bitches!

2005-05-25T15:26:00.000-04:00

it's about time, i know. i've gotten to the bottom of this "how much do you love my new blog" issue and back again. in the wise, wise words of Coolio (what happened to him anyway?): Sumpin' New.

check it, yo.

ttfn.

je suis une slacker

2005-05-25T00:11:00.000-04:00

yes, yes, i know, my loving adoring fans, i have been slacking. but i'm back to leave you with this bit of inspiration and self-love (it's actually a magnet i have on my fridge-the only thing on there so you know this is key):

Be Yourself.
There is something
that you can do
better than any other.
Listen to the inward voice
and bravely obey that.
-- Unknown

How fabulous is that? I needed a reminder as i watched fucking Amber and Boston Rob's wedding on tv and sobbed intermittently. So loving and sweet and genuine, both of them. If that shit doesnt work out, though I'm putting bets on it lasting (i know, i'm so silly to even be thinking about this), I'm goin after Rob because he's all man but can still be sensitive and sweet and tell you how he feels about you. Love sucks, man. And that's all I have to say about that!

Love you kids. Tonight (well, tomorrow nite) I'm off to dinner with some girlie friends at Mamlouk (YUM! http://newyorkmetro.com/pages/details/8229.htm) and then hopefully to do some late nite laundry bc good god am i behind on that. I know, shocker to some of you. Look, I just dont like it, okay? (Laura-- it's not anything else you think it is, OKAY?! haha) People who click on that and dont find it funny are just not cool.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Good night my sweet poopooheads.

ttfn.

i'll tell you what's incomplete...

2005-05-20T20:29:00.000-04:00

so, i finally heard the song "incomplete" by the backstreet boys that laura loves so much. and ya know, i think the key thing here is to just HEAR it. dont watch the video. because if you do? i think the effect they're trying for here will be totally lost on you and the tears produced, if any, will be because you're laughing so hard. i'm talking side splitting. now, maybe it just got me at the wrong time, wrong mood, whatever. but this SHIT is good ya'll. and when i say good i mean really really bad. to save you the trouble i have compiled all of the music video "tricks and effects" which if i'm gonna give 'em anything -- i think they pretty much included all but one, showing a scantily clad heartbroken chick -- they aimed to really pack 'em in here. well done, boyeeez!

Cliche Music Videos 101:

Location: somewhere where mother nature could be a real bitch, or atleast pose a few problems, in order to lay a solid foundation of drama throughout the video. hell, if nature is against these sensitive, emotionally-tortured boys, surely there's no hope. in this case - the arid, empty, backroads-abandoned, scalding sun shining desert. here we get to see rain and gale forces which makes the trash fly about. i'm really worried for these boys now...

Deserted Gas Station: okay, if i had a dollar for everytime a friggin abandoned gas station in the desert was in a video...sheesh. and let's not forget the randomly placed, rusted gas barrels. where's the love. and the creativity now that i think of it.

The Lone Piano: now, these boys may have stumbled upon a deserted spot in the desert but THANK YOU to the previous tenants who left their stark white piano there otherwise this would be a capella and we all know that's not as fun...

The Hooptie: as with all videos about heartbreak there needs to be wheels. in this case, a mammoth of a car, lookin kinda like an old bonneville, convertible of course, so there is atleast some hint of "searching", "escape", and possible hope for the future. WHEW! all is not lost! they have a way to move on...

Laundry left on the Clothesline: now, i think this is a nod to the women in the audience. kinda like, "hey, we know there's no chick in our video but look at how beautiful the laundry flows so scerenly in the wind on the line...isnt that pretty and makes you feel kinda good?" now i wanna know, if the former occupants left so suddenly (so as to desert this small oasis making it prime video making real estate) why wouldnt they atleast take their sheets and tighty whiteys? as if they needed one more small touch to leave us feeling hopeless and forlorn.

Sand: whether it be running through their fingers (oh nooo!! it's slipping through my hands, just like how i lost you, my love!) or kicking it from the extreme pain they're feeling, they capture both beautifully here. not to be missed.

Falling to Knees/Clenching Fists: now, if this isnt what makes you pull out the kleenex box i dont know what will do it. you heartless bastard. dont you FEEL for these 5 boys who apparently have all lost their loves at the exact same time?! you're the kind of person that just never cries i bet. god...show some compassion.

Singing in the Rain: almost as good as Gene Kelly's version but still lacking a certain something. an umbrella? no. a yellow rain slicker? no. a lightpost to swing around on? maybe that's it. no real showing of heartbreak is complete without singing while the rain so cruelly pours down on you. hell, i dont give a guy a second chance unless he sings to me in the rain. and no wiping your face or eyes, that shit's for pussy men and it's not nearly as sexy.

Fire: suddenly it seems not only is there fire in the aforementioned rusted gas barrels but also BOTH modes of transportation (hooptie and bike) now seem to be up in flames as well. a combustability problem 'round these parts? you were feeling a smidgeon of hope just thirty seconds ago? well now these tortured boys are stranded too. i know...keep reaching for those tissues...

Waves: just when you think those poor boys have "bled" enough, it turns out...no. you cant go win your woman back if gigantic waves keep pulling you under. must...make it...to shore.

Fedora: no lonely, wife beater-wearing, chains around the neck boy would be complete without a fedora. it's the headress of choice for all sensitive, angst-ridden, soon to be ex lovers. and you cant wear this hat without a slo-mo of the fingers running along the brim. watch for this moment in particular. i swear, it will give you chills everytime.

Not surprisingly, these guys, at the end of the video, are doing the obligatory "walk down the desert highway". Why? Because they're trying to prove to what lengths they will go for their women? No. It's because the dumbasses lit their wheels on fire. And that was some sweet ride too.

But seriously fellas...you guys put it best: I'll pray for your hearts to be unbroken. Poor things. *sniff*

If you've seen this video, be sure to share the details of how you too were deeply moved. I'm now sitting on my couch, irreversibly upset (and rightly so) and could really use some lovin'.

ttfn.

can i have your tots??

2005-05-18T13:06:00.000-04:00

okay ma lovahs, i'm making this all about the pics today. dont feel like writing much. these are all from the weekend...ben's chili bowl, partying after, staying up way too late, being comatose at the hfstival...enjoy.

broke the diet for 1 and 3/5th chili dawgs. and not just dawgs but half smokes (sausages). good god it was worth every bite...below, the damage done:

a little excessive drinking and a TON of orgasms (the shot...hehe) later, i cant keep my hands off my latina lover:

which laura thoroughly enjoyed:

"wipe your mouth, dear..."

though, who can resist the heavy metal rock n roller when she comes out:

"THANK YOU, DES MOINES! I AM HEATHER FUCKIN' HOLLEY!"

the next day...after 5 hours of sleep...oh so tired chillin at the HFStival:

(kip loves lafawnduh)

hilarious t-shirts were in abundance at this thing...laura has some good ones hopefully she'll post:

garbage played and they were quite good, along with other great acts: coldplay, foo fighters, ny dolls, social distortion, they might be giants, billy fuckin' idol, interpol...

all good until it started to rain and storm and they tried to move everyone inside until it subsided:

then YAY! we're back on, baby! (only coldplay and foo fighters were left to go)

i have a lot of video clips that i took of ny dolls, the idol, and coldplay, and if you wanna see them i can try to email them, they're anywhere from 3-11 megs.

ttfn kiddiepoohs.

I'm waiting for Kip.

2005-05-17T08:54:00.000-04:00

You are LaFawnduh. Why are you so sweaty?

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

OKAY i so didnt think i'd be lafawnduh. though, thinking back, some of those bitchy looks she gives are all me. lol. damn quizilla...always so insightful! all you bitches better fill this out, i wanna know who you are. here are my predictions:

LL-kip ("we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious. ")
Linz-pedro ("all your wildest dreams will come true")
Nikki-summer ("Who wants to spend the next year eating Chimicangas? Not me. So Vote for Summer.")

ttfn.

ahhhhhh...spring

2005-05-12T13:18:00.000-04:00

so, one thing i LOVE about nyc is how it changes with the seasons. the decorations, the foliage, the flowers, all of the eateries suddenly spilling out onto the sidewalks, the customers with little doggies taking the outermost tables (including me!)...love it! so beautiful. so the other day, as i waited on the median for the light to change i looked down park avenue, which is always particularly festive, and though this picture doesnt at all do it justice, it's a sampling...tulips on every median strip, surrounding the cherry blossom trees, for as far as you can see.

i think i'll go out on the terrace now and enjoy some of this beautiful sunny day.

ttfn.

gotta love U2

2005-05-11T20:59:00.000-04:00

You know, one of my all time favorite songs, that gets me every time is U2's "One". Now, I dont typically listen to these guys when I'm in the gym lest I be tempted to end my life in the nearby steam room from all of their uplifting lyrics. However, with everything going on in my life both of the following songs really did me in earlier. And how can I not share such positivity with all my adoring fans? lol. Here goes...interpret as you will.

"One"

Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame
You say...

One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it

Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's...

Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...

Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other

One...life

One

"Running To Stand Still"

And so she woke up
Woke up from where she was
Lying still
Said I gotta do something
About where we're going

Step on a steam train
Step out of the driving rain, maybe
Run from the darkness in the night
Singing ha, ah la la la de day
Ah la la la de day
Ah la la de day

Sweet the sin
Bitter the taste in my mouth
I see seven towers
But I only see one way out

You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice

You know I took the poison
From the poison stream
Then I floated out of here
Singing...ha la la la de day
Ha la la la de day
Ha la la de day

She runs through the streets
With her eyes painted red
Under black belly of cloud in the rain
In through a doorway she brings me
White gold and pearls stolen from the sea
She is raging
She is raging
And the storm blows up in her eyes
She will...

Suffer the needle chill
She's running to stand...

Still.

ttfn kids.

Ode to Mary Jane

2005-05-10T12:00:00.000-04:00

okay, so one of my best friends in the world, Mary Ann, who I affectionately call Mary Jane, just fedexed me some brownies to cheer me up. THANK YOU SWEETIE! I got the box and thought "oh, maybe I left some more makeup at her place" but then opened it and it was MUCH better than any makeup! haha.

Mary Jane, you have been such a good friend to me over the years, and I am so glad we met during those crazy college years when we were trying so hard to figure out who we wanted to be and who we wanted to be with! From pitching tents in dorm rooms, blending virgin drinks in closets so we didnt wake anyone else late at night, talks about spirituality and the world, dating the same guys (including my husband! hehe), helping each other get over guys :/ , baking cookies and cooking tomato sauce (you cooking, me learning), to graduations, careers, owning homes, "adult" relationships, shifts in priorities, trying to find true happiness, STILL trying to figure out who we want to be, and who we want to be with!

I'm so glad we've stayed in touch over the years and been able to watch each other grow into the people we are. And I'm thrilled that you no longer live thousands of miles away! yay!

I love you sweetie, you're the best. I will now go stuff myself with my brownies, eating them very slowly and relishing every bite.

THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A GREAT FRIEND!

menage a trois

2005-05-09T22:32:00.000-04:00

how kinky...

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Heather
2. HB
3. Heath

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. baileyjuice
2. bailsnyc
3. hholley

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my legs
2. my mole
3. my buzzies

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my tummy
2. my curved in shoulders
3. my forehead

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. english
2. dutch
3. welsh

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. being attacked
2. never feeling content
3. not being able to have children of my own/encephalitis

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. moisturizer
2. food
3. laughter

THREE THINGS YOU’RE WEARING NOW:
1. white sweat pants
2. red tank top
3. nude mesh v-string

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTIST
1. the cure
2. matthew sweet
3. christina aquilera

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS
1. promises, promises - naked eyes
2. into the mystic - van morrison
3. boys dont cry - the cure

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Communication (thank you mr. dowd for all three)
2. Equality
3. Passion

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE: (Which is a lie?)
1. i've been drenched by a mis-fired cow udder
2. i've paid money just to take a 30 min. nap in a hotel room
3. i've licked champagne off another woman's breast

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. sense of humor
2. charm
3. intelligence

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. dancing
2. traveling
3. maintaining relationships

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. move to france
2. eat fried food
3. have a huge party

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING:
1. pastry chef
2. helicopter pilot
3. house wife (hehe)

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. rome
2. maldives
3. new zealand

THREE KIDS NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. isabelle
2. gavin
3. anders

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. have kids
2. master the french language
3. own property internationally

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL/BOY:
1. i'm emotional/sensitive
2. i have a shoe and handbag problem
3. i use my feminine wiles to my advantage

THREE CELEBRITY CRUSHES
1. matt damon
2. andy garcia
3. simon rex

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. laura
2. william
3. beth

ttfn.

democracy in action...

2005-05-08T13:47:00.000-04:00

who voted that my colors are like pepto bismol?! you're fired. lol. VOTE people, i wanna hear from you!

kisses.

ttfn.

iiiiiiiiiiy...mi dios!

2005-05-04T12:10:00.000-04:00

i dont know if that's how you really write that, but that's how i'm feeling right now. i am seriously bored out of my skull. for some reason, work today is just not doin it for me. granted, it NEVER does, but today it's just 100x worse. i'm antsy, and practically jumping out of my skin. though, maybe it's the meds. LOL.

okay, something FUNNY? and kinda cool...if you click on the link to the right for Dana's Dirt ("so addicted it must be smack") you can see in her scrolling marquee that she quoted me saying that! I IM'ed her the other day telling her so (the same day i changed the link on here) and now i'm famous. let me know, i'll send you an autographed pic. muwahahahaaaaa.

anyway, BACK to my rant about boredom. i just AM. it's beautiful out and though i can walk out on to the terrace, like i just did, it's not safe because there's a small part of me that thinks "ooooh i could just jump over...that'd be fun...though i'd hit the terrace of the people below and that would suck" YES folks, i'm really just all over the place today. is it possible to have so much energy inside of you because you've been working out more?? because i have, and let me tell you i look friggin fabulous, and i seem to have more energy. maybe that's it....

you know, back to dana's dirt, i just have to say 2 things: 1) britney and federline are such WT and 2) poor katie holmes and her face! i can really empathize about the cold sore thing, but when i have one? i atleast wear makeup so the rest of me looks good! YIKES.

alright, i'm out. hey, does anyone see my type OVER my pics on the left or is it just me? laura says it's perfect for her and when i get home it's just fine, but for some reason here it's all f-ed up. weird.

ttfn, my loyal following. (comment you bitches, and NOT by clicking the envelope! i wrote this entry, i dont need it emailed to me, thanks love you!)

ps. speaking of mi dios, some weirdo left me a msg on my work voicemail last night that said "como estas? buenas noches (something incomprehensible) thank you". wtf? if anyone has any information leading to the identity of this person please call crime stoppers at 212-355-5657 (and dont you dare leave a similar msg)

all we are saaaaaaayin'...is give peace a chance...

2005-05-02T16:58:00.000-04:00

so, in talking to LL today, it dawned on me...the root of my emotional distress, the ups and downs, the roller coaster of emotions, feeling aimless, being upset, nerves so wracked that i feel like vomiting...i think what i'm missing is a feeling of PEACE. after pointing out that i really havent felt true peace in so long, she asked how long it had been and sadly, i think it was probably when matt and i first moved to nyc from arizona. you might think "that doesnt sound very peaceful to me" but i dont mean peace as in the opposite of being busy. i mean real inner peace. peace with where you are in the world, with your relationships, with your prospects, hopes, dreams, goals. embarking on an adventure where your whole team is made up of just you and the one you love can be a real bonding experience. you're in it together. the excitement, the plans, the feeling deep down that you're doing the right thing, and the right thing is actually something positive (as opposed to my "right thing" feelings over the past year that sucked ass). it was one of those moments where you knew you were moving forward, in the right direction, and that journey felt good. even with the bustling, and some stress, and some anxiety, there was still in inner calm, peace, that was still there at the end of the day when you collapsed on your mattress that's still on the floor because you have no real bed.

now, maybe i'm unrealistic, or naive, but i think i can have that peace again. i need it, i'm craving it. i'm going to go slightly nutty soon if i dont find it. and being separated, i'm gonna have to find that peace all on my own, within just myself. not a bad deal you say, but if you havent had to do it before, it can be a little tricky. when your priorities are waking up, showering, eating, breathing, and trying to focus enough at work that you dont get fired, maybe inner peace is the last possible attainable thing, or so you feel. maybe that's too much to ask for right now. but i dont think it is. and i'm gonna guess that once you've found it for yourself, whatever happens to you, or whatever anyone else does to you, you've still got it, because it's part of you.

god, look at me waxing poetic. i'm so deep and philosophical ;) but really...i'm being serious here. and i know you know it.

well, it's been a crazy, maddening day at work and i would like to get out of here sometime soon. i'll leave you with something my incredibly wise mother told me last night as we were on the topic of relationships:

there are little people who talk about people.
there are average people who talk about things.
and there are big people who talk about ideas.

now, she was relating this specifically to couples, and how important it is that within a relationship you're compatible here, because if not, one person will be left wanting and unfulfilled. i agree with this and once she said it i was like "yessssss" in a very napoleon dynamite sort of way. do you agree? tell me what you think!

ttfn kids.

html...css...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2005-05-01T18:03:00.000-04:00

so, who wants to clean when you can spend HOURS learning about css and html just to change up your blog template? well, not me folks! i learned quite a bit, but obviously all i got to so far was changing up the colors (it IS spring afterall) and adding some pics to the background. if anyone has some insight into adding pics to both the top and left corners with some padding, PUHLEEZE help a sista out. and yes, as you can see from the pics, i'm really missing provence right now. i dont know how i'm ever gonna make it to italy when i'm constantly craving france. i just have to stop working, that's all there is to it. i need more time!

well lovahs, i'm really off to clean now.

ttfn

it's 7:12 AM right?!

2005-04-30T19:13:00.000-04:00

ya know, gotta love waking up in the late afternoon after going to bed around 7am after a long night/morning. it's starting to get dark out, and only being awake for a couple hours it feels like it HAS to be morning. i can't believe it's saturday night already. what to do, what to do... i think i might actually stay in, read, clean, and scan more slides for that gigantic project i'm working on (it's a top secret mission of sorts). my seedlings are growing like crazy now, i'll take some pics and put them on here soon...if you're lucky. will knock your socks off, it will. cant wait to have some pretty flowers and herbs. the hot peppers arent growing yet, i dont know why...weird. well, just checkin in...see y'all later.

ttfn.

ps. everything bagels are the best, especially with kimchee on them! yum!

uuuuuuggggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-04-30T03:23:00.000-04:00

okay, so that's pretty much how i feel right now. why cant life be easy? why can tthings be how you know they should be? long story short i had a long talk with my cabbie tonite about love, finding someone you're meant to be with....the person who just completes you, who fills you, who feels like your best friend. granted, he said that person had discovered that she was a lesbian after waiting for him for 12 yrs. i reassured him, no, that wasnt the wait for you...that probably would have happened had she been yours. i encouraged him to go find his own love, a new love, someone to build a life with. granted, he was only 28 like me!!!! plenty of time. though, i can relate to that feeling of being rushed. particulary when you feel you know who that person is....patience is a virtue that i just dont have.

anyway, laughed my ASS off tonight...went to the cellar comedy club. saw the best acts and my side still hurts.

even with that, discovering that i just dont feel up for this shit and i know what i want and i'll be damned if i dont get it. i'm a persistent mutha fucka.

well, i'm gonna go play some games online and stay up way too late because i can. love you all.

ttfn.

and i've been so good too! dammit...

2005-04-29T14:45:00.000-04:00

ttfn.

lovin' me some JJ

2005-04-28T22:33:00.000-04:00

so, my new favorite artist: Jack Johnson. some lyrics from a killer of a song:

Cocoon

based on your smile
im betting all of this might be over soon
but youre bound to win
because if im betting against you, i think id rather lose

but this is all that i have, so please
take whats left of this heart, and use
please use only what you really need
you know i only have so little, so please
mend your broken heart and leave

i know its not your style
and i can tell by the way that you move its real real soon
but im on your side
and i dont want to be your regret, id rather be your cocoon

but this is all that you have, so please
let me take whats left of your heart, and i will use
i swear ill use only what i need
i know you only have so little, so please
let me mend my broken heart

you said this was all you have
and its all i need
but blah blah blah
because it fell apart
i guess its all you knew
and all i had
but now we have
only confused hearts
i guess all we have
is really all we need

so please
lets take these broken hearts, and use
lets use only what we really need
you know we only have so little, so please
take these broken hearts and leave

whew...*sniff*

check out his stuff here:

http://www.jackjohnsonmusic.com/

really great stuff. nothing better than just a man with his guitar...

ttfn.

the addendum to LL's blogarific entry

2005-04-26T22:07:00.000-04:00

okay people, you MUST, right now, go to thelauralee's blog and read her latest entry. yes, there you go, click on the link to the right. it's SO accurate and really, men out there should be paying her for the info she's providing. it's essentially a KEY to women's hearts!

of course, bc i always do what ms. lee tells me to, i have thought of some of my own to add:

-3 pts if he gets those little white saliva balls at the corners of the mouth
-3 pts if he knows he has a tendency to get them yet still doesnt check often for them so he can wipe them off as soon as they come

i HATE THAT! why dont they keep up with personal hygiene just as much as women do? is this so hard??

also:

-1 pt: starts the date by ordering a non alcoholic beverage when the beginning of your date is meeting for drinks thereby making you look like a lush who drinks at 5pm
+3 pts: refers to you as "beautiful", "lovely", "stunning" rather than "hot", "sexy", "fine"
+2 pts: walks on the street side of the sidewalk in a chivalrous effort to protect you from all foreign objects and activities
-5 pts: if he is strictly a boring steak and potatoes guy and refuses to try exotic or just plain ol' ethnic foods
-2 pts: if he at any point says "i dont want to toot my own horn but..." and follows with some intended impressive feat or accomplishment (usually it is not)

i'm adjusting the following of laura's entries:

+5 if he gives you the big O ( see NSA section)
+10 (another 10) if he not only LIKES giving oral but makes sure you come first most of the time (exceptions being when you just wont get there bc of emotional stresses, not for his lack of trying)

i'm sure i'll be thinking of more as i continue to think about this fascinating subject....

feel free to comment and provide more, and MEN--please do the same! let us know what we do that's good, great, and ghastly!

ttfn

estoy aqui!

2005-04-26T13:22:00.000-04:00

so, last night was day 1 of my super duper intensive espanol class. 4 hours of spanish for 5 straight days. es muy caliente! lol. je suis tres fatiguee deja. oh wait, that's french. shit. nevermind. everyone keeps saying "you know french this will be a breeze" but nevermind it's quite different - pronunciation, rules, etc. silly people. after thinking french for 16 years it's not so easy to just turn that off.

i realized earlier that i blogged that silly question thing but never posted it, so without further ado:

to quench your thirst of all things heather...

2005-04-26T13:02:00.000-04:00

1. First Name: Heather
2. Were you named after anyone? Not a person – a flower.
3. Do you wish on stars? On the rare occasion I see a falling one…maybe.
4. Which finger is your favorite? I’d rather not pick favorites…they’ll hear me.
5. When did you last cry? Last friggin night.
6. Do you like your handwriting? Yeah I guess—I have several, not one consistent style. See? I’m even flaky in my handwriting…
7. What is your favorite lunch meat? Hot sopressata
8. Any bad habits? Of course not. I’m the model of perfection. (procrastination, shooting my mouth of and not being sympathetic from the start)
9. What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf? I honestly cant really think of anything embarassing…it’s a wide range of taste.
10. If you were another person, would YOU be friends w/you? Of course. And we’d probably be best friends because I’m fabulous.
11. Are you a daredevil? I was using the razor/callous remover the other night and I shaved off a lil too much skin off my right big toe…so YES.
12. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Probably bc to say no is so definitive, but I think I’m pretty good about not spreading shit that is followed by a “don’t tell anyone”.
13. Do looks matter? Yes. Duh.
14. How do you release anger? I rant to friends. Exercise. Eat. Clench my fists and let out a little “eeeeeeeeeee!” under my breath.
15. Where is your second home? Tough one, but I’ll say as far as being comfortable, it used to be LL’s old apt in the Burn.
16. Do you trust others easily? Not a chance.
17. What was your favorite toy as a child? Matchbox cars, hands down.
18. What class in school do you think is totally useless? Civics. What is that anyway?!
19. Do you have a journal? Yes. Wrote in it last night.
20. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Noooo. Never.
21. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? Nope.
22. What do you look for in a guy/girl? Good looking face, sense of humor, attentiveness, charm, confidence, sensitivity.
23. What are your nicknames? HB, Bails, Juice, B, Hoggy
24. Would you bungee jump? Not sure about that. I would definitely sky dive however.
25. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? 9 times out of 10-no.
26. Do you think that you are strong? Emotionally, yes. Physically, no.
27. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate and peanut butter.
28. Shoe Size? 8
29. What are your favorite colors? Red.
30. What is your least favorite thing? Relationship uncertainty, being heartbroken.
31. How many wisdom teeth do you have? Two I think.
32. How many people have a crush on you right now? Thousands I’m sure.
33. Who do you miss most right now? A few people here and there.
34. Do you want everyone you send this to: I’d say post it on your blog but it seems most of you have already.
35. What color pants are you wearing? Fine black plaid houndstooth with thin pink stripes
36. What are you listening to right now? My bosses laughing in the corner office.
37. Last thing you ate? WW smart ones swedish meatballs.
38. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Scarlet red.
39. What is the weather like right now? 63 and sunny.
40. Last person you talked to on the phone? Matthew.
41. The first things you notice about the opposite sex? Facial features - smile, teeth, nose, eyes
42. Do you like the person who sent you this? Stole it from your blogs, love you all.
43. How are you today? Okay…still in quite the funk…
44. Favorite drink? Fresh squeezed lemonade.
45. Favorite Alcoholic Drink? Shiraz.
46. Your Hair Color? Brown.
47. Your Eye Color? Brown again.
48. Do you wear contacts? No
49. Siblings? Sue, Geoff, Colleen, William
50. Favorite Month? November.
51. Favorite Food? Pizza
52. Last movie that you watched? Sin City. Atrocious.
53. Favorite Day of the Year? Used to be my birthday. Maybe New Years Eve now.
54. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? I’m all about the happy endings.
55. Summer or Winter? Summer – though I love the winter clothes and the cuddling.
56. Hugs or Kisses? I cant possibly choose…I have a newfound apprecation for hugs though.
57. Relationships or One Night Stands? Relationships, but god are they a big fucking headache.
58. Do you want your friends to write back? Of course.
59. Living Arrangements? One bedroom apt in UES.
60. What Books are You Reading? Wicked and Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (one is not nearly as fun as the other)
61. What’s on your mouse pad? Um…my mouse?
62. Favorite Board Game? Settlers of Catan.
63. What did you watch on TV last night? Nothing but I recorded Alias.
64. Favorite Smells? Almond extract, lingering smell of a man (and not his cologne).
65. What’s the first thing you think of when you wake up? Omg I will die if I have to go to work today.
66. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Not at all though I'd prefer they ask me, particularly if I've shown interest.

on second thought...

2005-04-22T01:02:00.000-04:00

okay, so, maybe it's a late-night sort of clarity, but i just read the results to my personality test again (see below, a couple entries back) and YIKES that is SO me. :( i mean, i guess i should be happy about this...that something gets me and is able to describe me in two succinct paragraphs. you'd think this would be a gem of knowledge for those that desire to know heather. lol. but for some reason? it depresses me...i'm thinking because there's shit in there that is just not appealing to me...oh well. what can you do. particularly at 1am.

ttfn.

i'm off to dc this weekend so i prolly wont be blog blog bloggin on heaven's door...miss me. i know you will.

oh, and ps? did you read my test results? in case you were wondering, YES i AM smarter than you. lol.

DUDE! Your air guitar is SWEET!

2005-04-21T13:59:00.000-04:00

So I'm wandering around things to do tonight and what do I stumble across? Aireoke at my former neighborhood's strip joint/club haunt - The Pussycat Lounge. One link leads to another and I find THE site for all air guitar enthusiasts (one of which I am not, but we all have dreams) -- www.airguitarusa.com Click to see the US and World Champion's performance on Conan. She's pretty good...yes, you heard me right...the champ is a CHICK! She beat out all the boys (nanny nanny boo boo). You can also read about the "scandal" at the World championships: (man, this all sounds so serious)

But in the days that followed the event, a judging controversy eerily reminiscent of this summer’s Olympic men’s gymnastics threatened to tear apart the very fabric of international air guitar competition.

ROCK ON MAN!

ttfn.

pope-a-rific news...

2005-04-20T15:11:00.000-04:00

NEW POPE ELECTED:

George W. Bush Elected Pope!
Catholic Cardinals Stunned!

Reported by Willie E. Davis <>

The almost 120 Cardinals from around the world that gathered to choose a successor in the Vatican's Sistine Chapel were stunned and expressed amazement.
Cardinal Mohoney, the Vatican spokesperson, had this to say, "We in the conclave are all shocked. We cast our votes using these new electronic voting machines. The results overwhelmingly favored George W. Bush over all the Catholic candidates. The last Pope, John Paul, was a superb linguist, fluently speaking 11 languages; this one can't speak fluently in one language. We just don't know what to say."
The White House has announced that Dick Cheney will assume command as President of the world tomorrow morning, when "W" travels to Rome to begin his duties as Pope.
George W. Bush had this to say moments ago as he spoke from the Rose Garden.

"I am honored to be the spiritual lighthouse, and the first War Pope. I promise Evangelical Catho-licks and Prostates alike that I will be embodied in salvation and fair in the performance of my duties. I am a Unitifier, not a Divide-a-cater. I am obliged to try to save as many lost souls as I can, at least the Devout Wealthy Elite Souls, as it is well known that Heaven is a very select place. Indeed, it is more exclusive than even the best of country clubs. It is a members only Heaven. I may have to put a fence around it to keep out the terrorists.
I will preform miracles in a fair and balanced manner.

Just as God used to wipe out entire races of people without warning, burning whole towns of perverts, killing off entire nations, and drowning everybody without a ticket to board Noah's Ark, I shall deliver the world from Evil Empires as I unleash the Apocalypse Wrath of Revelations. I will ensure the Rapture and the Reunion with our beloved deceased family members and with our departed purebred pets. I will not allow those awful Liberal Sissy Homosapiens to marry each other and I will put and end to the Clergy marrying Choirboys.

I will lead the Crusades against all them towel-headed heathens demon-possessed voodoo-hoodoo barbarians whose Pseudo-religions don't accept Christ as the Light of Democracy, and who worship fake, made-up gods. They shall suffer my Godly Conservative Wrath and I will Destroy them with my Cherubic Armies of Angels and they shall burn for eternity in Hell, because Me and God don't take no prisoners."

two quickies in one day? what stamina...

2005-04-18T22:39:00.000-04:00

okay, without further ado...tell me if you think they're accurate. go ahead...press "comment" below. you can do it.

INTP - the Architect
You scored 36% I to E, 47% N to S, 52% F to T, and 57% J to P!

You are more introverted than extroverted. You are more
intuitive than observant, you are more thinking based than
feeling based, and you prefer to go with the flow rather than
have a routine. The single word to describe your type is the
Architect, which belongs to the larger group of rationals.
You wish to sculpt the world around you. Others often find
you arrogant, yet you have no desire to direct others, only
to inform them. You must know the structure of things,
and have a voracious appetite for knowledge. You are very
rational in everything you do, and probably consider yourself
smarter than most.

As a romantic partner, you can be playful with great energy to
get things started, but not quite as good on follow through.
You may have a tendency to hurt the more emotional types
unintentionally by not sharing your own reactions and feelings
as you can get swept up in your own ideas and projects. You
want to be appreciated for your ability to respond quickly and
to fix problems creatively. You need plenty of time to yourself -
therefore your parnter must respect your need for
independence and originality.

Your group summary: Rationals (NT)

Your type summary: INTP

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 49% on I to E
You scored higher than 71% on N to S
You scored higher than 54% on F to T
You scored higher than 62% on J to P

Link: unpretentious2 on Ok Cupid

someone PLEASE remove the pole from my ass. is this really me???!!? go ahead and shoot me like a lame horse if so. i shall wake up tomorrow and be different. this doesnt at all capture my fun fanciful parts of me, right? i do have them?

ttfn.

a quicky...if you're up for it.

2005-04-18T22:07:00.000-04:00

just a quicky here...had to post this link to this photographer's website. amazing pics...incredible.

http://www.newyorkmonitor.com/index.html

ciao.

ttfn.

the first tiiiiime...ever i saw your faaaaace...

2005-04-15T08:24:00.000-04:00

O...M...G people. so, i get the Daily Candy in my email everyday and today's was friggin hilarious.

a reality tv show where a virgin is deflowered on national tv. WHAT?! hahahahaha. yeah, see the audition clips HERE. so gd wrong it's funny as hell. just click on the "first time" box. "so tell these parents what position you would use to deflower their virgin daughter..."

stayed up late last night baking linzer cookies. though mine look better than this silly pic...

YUM. got them done so i could go out tonite with sandra to a roof top bar opening. dontcha just love SPRING?!

have a great weekend kids.

ttfn.

then you really man, know what it's like....

2005-04-10T02:54:00.000-04:00

so had fun tonite, went out with divya babe and her esposo and a friend of esposo. you may thing
"oh, a guy for you, a set up" but no, in fact, not really.

was fun tho. started at heartleansd frewery and then to dawat where i had certeficably good indian food and then on to pig n whistle for more drinks and live music from a little irish hotty in a running jacket. lol. oh, and an indian guy at another tabel that according to divya woulnst stop looikning at me. good times.

and yes, fuck spell check. i'm intosxit cate.d

so anyway now i'm home, too early in my opihnon adn online playing dominoes and fighting sleep.

thought more about my vacay to the caribbean and definitely doing turks and caicos islands next month alone. cant wait!

anyway kids, muwah, goin to sleep, need it. cant keeep my eyes open!!!! it's aproblem, i'm not gonna lie. lol.

ttfn.

In the words of the wise Dr. Evil...

2005-04-04T12:49:00.000-04:00

Honestly, throw me a bone here!

My fortune cookie from lunch...if only it would elaborate further. Where are all the fortunes with more than one line?

Depart not from the path which fate has you assigned.

Greaaaat. Vague, incomplete instruction and an upset stomach. That's all I'm left with.

I really don't know why I get so excited breaking open that sickly yellow cardboard "cookie". Seriously.

ttfn.

SHOOT. ME. NOW.

2005-04-03T12:51:00.000-04:00

so, it's a crappy sunday morning, or afternoon i guess with that whole tricky daylight savings time thing, and i'm sick as a dog. i dont know what happened. friday i woke up with a scratchy throat but thought it was nothing, then by that night i'm cutting the evening's fun short bc i am exhausted and feeling really run down. saturday i wake and apparently while i was sleeping a truck hit me, ran over me, backed up, then ran over me again. THANK GOD for thomas or else i would never have made it through this weekend. people, if you ever need a cute male "nurse", he's your guy. flowers, breakfast of fresh cut fruit (your favorites) and yogurt and fresh oj waiting for you when you wake. tea, early morning runs to the store for medicines of all sorts, hilarious jokes to take your mind off the pain. actually, i take that back...if you're sick go get your own damn nurse, this one's taken. ha.

so, i'm sitting here with both feet asleep, natasha in my lap curled up, blogging my little heart out, building up the used tissue pile next to me, with an imminent fear that the next tissue i pull from the box will be my last (begin dramatic movie preview music here).

speaking of movies--UH MA GOD. Sin City.

I uh...had been looking forward to this movie since I heard it was coming out. and now i'm uh...slightly traumatized. my dear little Frodo Baggins a CANNIBAL?! what's going on?! my reality was shattered. ha. seriously folks, this movie was fucked up. and not in a good way. i mean, the special effects were incredible, visually this thing was fantastic. but like thomas said "content? no thank you." after leaving it was decided that next to watch was either mary poppins or chitty chitty bang bang. a REAL palate cleanser. it was so graphic and violent and gory. too much for my little heart to take. oh, and topped with a dollup of good ol' pedophilia. yummmmm. sick, sick, sick.

well kids, i've run out of energy to sit up so i'm off to think of ways to end my life so this misery i'm feeling cant continue. and to make matters worse my nurse is gone... :( he apparently had a life of his own that he needed to get back to. huh. whatever. hehe.

ttfn.